This is my Blood

I know you won't believe me, but i am grateful.
I know I don't seem to show it but i do love you.
I know I don't seem to try, or give a damn or want to anyway...
... I'm just too tired.

Poured out...

All over my jeans...
Really, I try too much.

...for you

At least I'm not guilty of the sin of blah blah blah blah... I didn't really catch what he said anyway.



You said I took the name in vain,
I didn;t really know that name,
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light in every word
It doesn't matter which you heard...
The holy or the broken Hallelujah.

I don't know how to write anymore.

I don't think I'm ever going to get up again

"I love you"
No you don't.

What part of our history is re-invented and under rug swept?

All of it I believe.

And I'm afraid to peel it open.

*crumble*

Quite badly.

Voodoo Girl

Her skin is white cloth,
and she's all sewn apart
and she has many colored pins
sticking our of heart.

She has a beautiful set
of hypno-disk eyes,
the ones that she uses
to hypnotize guys.

She has many different sombies
who are deeply in her trance.
She even has a zombie
who was originally from France.

But she knows she has s curse on her,
a curse she cannot win.
For if someone gets
too close to her,

The pins stick further in.
~Tim Burton

I Dreamed a Dream

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their word inviting.
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting.
It all went wrong.

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life woth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed taht God would be forgiving.

Then i was young and unafraid
And dreams were made, and used,
And wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung
No wine untasted.

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dream to shame
He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days
With endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came.

And still i dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms that we cannot weather.

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed
The dream I dreamed



I dream a dream, of stages and song, of words and notes, of a life bigger then ours, and a space wilder then the mind.

Offical Statement for Lysistrata Project (Singapore)

The Lysistrata Project (Singapore) originally scheduled to take place at
Zouk on the 3rd of March has been postponed to a later date due to logistic
and sponsorship issues. The organisers are grateful for your support to date
and trust that you will continue in your support of this event. The
Lysistrata Project still needs you.

We will keep you updated as to the new event details. Possible dates being
considered are 10th or 17th of March (both Mondays).

In the meantime, we are pleased to announce that a satellite reading of
Lysistrata (in mandarin and english) will be presented by the students of
TTRP at the Esplanade Library on Sunday the 2nd of March.
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Yes things have been quite iffy. But We'll pull through.

you caught me lingering in another girl's paradise the way she paints the world -- I want that in my life

It's almost tragic.
Perception shapes reality, but for the dead honest, what can they say?
Or is what they have simply another manifestation of a desire to believe?
No matter how tragic.

Emeralds, you should know, are renting in her meadow with a stroke beauty lives how could I resist? You are Desire.

"She's the colour of a magazine... she's in fashion"

Desire, the doorway to delusion or despair. It's a doubled edged sword.

through twists and turns Jasmine foxed me in her grove arms filled with Honey-bells, St Michaels Sanford Bloods

And the lies that we're fed of contentment and joy.
From both sides of our wretched amphibian humanity,
"because those binary opposites are an integral part of yourself. To give any of those things up would be to kill a part of yourself"
The promises we run from for fear of falling...

... haven't i heard this before? In the year where perceived reality evaporated like mist in the morning?
Some lonely morning by the beach, waiting on the porch by the locked door of a blue and white building, branded with a silver cross... the call of the cradle, the hand of exile.
Some say we have healed, others refuse to leave the "pity parties"
So we twist and turn and run.

"you have come to discover what you want" what I want is not to want what isn't mine "But I am Desire"

As much as you are delusion and despair.

And if not wanting what isn't mine, isn't mine to have, All I'm left with, is desire, delusion and despair.

when it all is said and done who can love you and still be standing?

Who? The last one isn't here anymore. In every. sense. of the word.

there's Mary calling up a storm...

"Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! Rage, blow,
You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout
Till you have drenced our steeples, drowned the cocks!
You sulph'rous and thought-executing fires,
Vaunt-couriers of oak-cleaving thunderbolts,
Singe my white head; and thou all-shaking thunder,
Strike flat the thick rotundity o'th'world,
Crack nature's moulds, all germens spill at once
That makes ingrateful man"

Pathetic fallacy.

can I take from you and not keep taking?

Obviously not. Watch, wait, give and see.
Even givers get tired of giving, and what do you do when you tire of your own nature? When being who you are wears you out?
Where, exactly, do you go?

naked as day Gemma follows him...

"Down from the waist they're centaurs,
Though women all above.
But to the girdle do the gods inherit
Beneath is all the fiend's"

Does it all come down to the thing one girl fears in the night?

Yes it does.
To lie awake in frustration, clawing at your very being.
To have realisation pound upon your body...
To make real the perception and belief that you're lost, fading and fast becoming nothing but a heap of ugliness.
To fear the mirror, to fear the world outside the bed, and within.
To be losing. Constantly.

is another girl's paradise...

I have come to the conclusion that magazines are bad for your health.

They breed materialsim, greed and pride.

I'm an avid reader.

You don't know this, But many people would love to be you.

It came as a shock, a pleasent surprise. I was 16.
She had been sitting next to me, mostly in discomfort and fear of my over-powering personality, for a year.
We spoke in different languages and communicated though broken bits of whatever we knew, and stationery.
I loved her.

And she was right.
Perhaps not in the sense that there were individuals lusting after who-I-was, but in the sense that I was so blessed in contentment.

I never whined for better grades, despite failing chinese and chemisty straight out,
On the flip side, i didn't care of these subjects, i excelled in what i loved.
I never felt socially awkward, despite not really bonding with the rest of the class,
On the flip side, I didn't care to either, I simply enjoyed their company and they enjoyed mine.
I never thought myself less-well-off, despite getting an allowance usually less then that of my peers,
On the flip side, I didn't see the point of materialism, i was practical to the core.

I was content, with what i had, with who i was, with what i was doing.
That was the basis of my happiness.

You know, looking back, I would never have thought of you being the sort to worry about your nails.

Of course.
I spent the better part of my childhood climbing trees, catching insects, playing "catching"...
I hated dresses, dolls, teddy bears, jewellery even sleep-overs.

Looking at my shelves, i have no less then:
22 shades of lippie,
3 bottles of clear lip gloss,
11 shades of eye colour,
1 eye liner,
2 shades of blush,
2 types of foundation,
2 tubs of loose power,
7 shade of nail polish, (excluding the top and base coats)
6 scents

Not to mention the make-up stashed away from theatre i think i have another 5 shades of lipstick, 2 shades of eyeshadow...

My wardrobe is becoming like china. so over-populated that i cannot account for every piece, and it's still growing.

So blessed,
So stupid

A snob is one who puts good taste above a good heart.


~ULVE 3.am

In case you've had a bad day...
Just fill in the name of the offender.

Who are you?MaleFemale

Cherry

I'd like to thank God for the insight, talent and strengh he has imparted in you, though it doesn't always show. And for letting him use you.

Though it hurts to read the reply and the trigger...

But I'm glad, giving up for good. A resolution on the other's part. A step to wholeness.

I'm out of DNA EduTechMedia.

After a month of cajoling and coaxing... they tell me they don't need me.

It was the only time that leaving the office carried a sense of unease and discomfort. I was beginning to feel like a sticky lump of phlegm at the back of one's throat, the kind that refuses to budge no matter how hard you cough. I guess it was the awkwardness that spurred my bosses to do the closing up this time. They've never done it together before. So 4 hands pressed inevitably on the shutters, with one swift thundering motion, they bring the office to a closure. I envisioned it to be the end. Outside the building, there is a lucky fountain squatting at the entrace, serving as an insurmountable obstacle to all who pass through the gates. The spout dead, the waters stale, and on the surface, a blob of yellow flesh was suspended just beneath the face of the pool. A dead, and decaying goldfish.

I can's speak chinese

I shouldn't let it bother me really, the auditions were fun and i was more concerned with trying then actually getting through. So i'm ok. One less thing to worry about.

Hannah, please DO NOT...

*wince* and i knew what i was in for.
I'm eating my words. Don't waste in fear

I just thank God that the circle is more forgiving that i had anticipated, that my dignity is kept intact and that i leave each episode with more then i came with. That's the way it goes. They all started somewhere, you are now at somewhere.

You never get gritty with yourself.
I guess it's time.

no amount of that makes me love you any less

And as much as i hold on tightly, i feel an insatiable desire to destroy. It wells up in me and seeps out from my pupils, little darts of elation. I am thrilled by my anger, that by sweeping past the passengers in a carriage i can make no less then ALL of them, notice me and my disposition. How I will not hesitate to enhance that recognition into discomfort... power.

And as as i am awed by the sensitivity, patience and gentleness. It morphs into my antithesis, all that i am, by nature, not.
I have come to decipher an uncanny semblence between the laws of nature and the laws of man.

For every action, there is an equal an opposite reaction.
And we spiral down, sometimes needlessly, despairing at the helplessness of the situation.
The more one tries the other will push...
I love it.