...

Don't you just hate being a big ball of emotion during the "in-betweens" of the day, on bus rides, while waiting
Only to forget everything that you wanted to capture on your blog.

TAGS #4's looking good. Got a bitty of things to do to while away the time before I leave for Canada. (yes the scary place) though...

I discovered that artisitically i am very dependent on external direction.
Not much personal art involved.
I'm not really what one would call an artiste.
Perhaps Jui Hsiang is right in this respect.
It requires a certain standing to be called an artiste.

You're a theatre student
Isn't it ironic?
How do you study something so profound and so innately human and basic?
TSD gave me so much but it was really up to me to find my theatre and I realise that perhaps I haven't.
All very well for scripted group pieces. Piece of cake.
But personal art...
Hell I can't even produce an independent piece of art that is true!

No wonder I didn't do a DS.

My theatre has always been shared.

*ponders*
I can't decide if that's positive or not.

Nokia 6100 is the phone for you. You always do what
you are told. You never make mistakes - or
atleast you try not to. You get upset easily
when what you have plan need to be changed,
especially at the last minute.


Which Nokia Cellphone is Most Suitable for You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Not bad. Not bad at all. They're pretty good.

Thunders

Bloody hell.

No seriously, just can it.

*beep* I hate it when people can't see sense.
It doesn't help that today comes with a very strong sense of self-reproach and a glimpse of disapproval.

Just because we are church leaders doesn't make us any more spiritual then anyone else
Amen to that.

It's just so myopic that we can't see that.
And even more harrowing that I cannot understand that I cannot expect such understanding from anyone else. They are after all only human
Dammit.

I know I know I know.
I forget I forget I forget.

There comes a time when you are judged twice over.
By the world
By yourself.

How do you handle that?

I have this sickening tendency to pull up the sheets over my hot little head and just disappear.
But you can't do that to yourself eh?

I've had enough and I'm ready to forget the reasons that keep me here.

I think i need a break. Stupid thing is, I don't know from what.

In your endless summer night
I'll be on the other side
When the water is too deep
I will ease your suffering
When the glitter fades in morning
Turn away and you will find my empty eyes
Your beauty blinds

Boys on the Radio ~ Hole

Whoopie

My new blog layout! Courtesy of Dennis

Though I would like to have a minute of silence for the death of my old blog.

*silence*

Ok but now i can finally post updates and feel new since everythings kinda more or less cleaned up and more tidy.

Freedom

Now that Misseve is over, I think I can find one or two more projects to be involved in. TAGS looks good, but I don't think I'm ready to do anything as an artiste. I'll be crew. If all goes well. But on the whole I can finally take a breather and releax before I leave for Canada.

I'm a bitty scared though, I don't think I am quite prepared for the experience yet.
4 years.
Leaving it all behind
Home.
Family.
Dennis.
Church.

Heck my entire life.

I guess this would be a good gauge on where my centre is.

But I'll be back.
For you.




Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now

Crazy skies all wild above me now
Winter howling at my face
And everything I held so dear
Disappeared without a trace
Oh all the times I've tasted love
Never knew quite what I had
Little Darling if you hear me now
Never needed you so bad
Spinning round inside my head

Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now

I've been talking drunken gibberish
Falling in and out of bars
Trying to find some explanation here
For the way some people are
How did it ever come so far

Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now
Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
I wanna hold you now

For cherry. I promised.



For the rest, I'm coming up soon. just hang in there whilst dennis gets my blog up.

*hint dennis*

I'm going to re-do my blog. perhaps on a more ego-centric note...

Won't be annoymous for long.

I could slip, I could fall
In that mean and awful hall
With the other jealous bitches
And the bitter grumbling men

I could sneer, I could glare
Say that life is so unfair
And the one who made it, made it
'Cuz her breasts were really big

Well I don't wanna to get BITTER
I don't wanna turn cruel
I don't wanna get old before I have to

I could bitch, I could moan
Say I want to be left alone
But that's not really true
Because I like my time with you

Till you rant and you rave
Wishing fat folks to their grave
But I feel sorry for them
You say they get what they deserve

But I don't wanna get BITTER
I don't wanna turn cruel
I don't wanna get old before I have to

I don't wanna get jaded
petrified and weighted
I don't wanna get BITTER like you
Like you, with the darts in your eyes
Like you, with disdain for mankind
I was charmed, Now I wonder

Well I don't wanna get BITTER...

So I'll smile with the rest
I'll wish everyone the best
And know the one who made it
Made it 'cuz she was actually pretty good

I wonder if anyone would start singing that to me.

Exhausted. I really should go sleep now. But I'm playing with MGI photosuite.
My newer friend.

Oh well.

I wonder. Do people realise that reactions are bred of past experiences and inner desparations.
Maybe I could start to be more forgiving and to realise that.
And not expect that in return.

Samsung

I've got a new friend. Well, he's been around for quite sometime. It's just that i haven't really noticed him till now.


Probably the sweetest thing one could see when you're running late for a meeting on a hot afternoon.

So my entire day was documented on my new found friend.

Scenes from a bus



Roads are such pretty things!





On my way to CBC



At CBC



Yes this is the guy who has no sense of creativity.
Let's watch the flowers grow.


In Q's car




S-11




1 Green pink soda bag.
1 Elle paris pouch
1 lip balm
1 hand mirror
1 pen shoppe brush
1 plato's Republic
1 note book
1 pencil case
1 wallet
1 handphone
2 keys
5 packets of tissue

This was our song. At least for my imaginary you.
It still hurts a tad bit, juxtaposing then and what's to be.

It's amazing
how you make your face just like a wall
how you take your heart and turn it off
how I turn my head and lose it all

It's unnerving
how just one move puts me by myself
there you go just trusting someone else
now I know I put us both through hell

I'm not saying
there wasn't nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
I'm not saying
we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me

But if that's how it's gonna leave
straight out from underneath
then we'll see who's sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
you know you've been depending on
the one you're leaving now
the one you're leaving out

It's aggravating
how you threw me on
and you tore me out
how your good intentions turn to doubt
the way you needed time to sort it out

Tell me is that how it's going to end
when you know you've been depending on
the one you're leaving now
and the one you're leaving out
...

And I'm worried I'll be singing this again over the course of 3 years.

So anyway, we like had this awesome time in church jamming and rolling around laughing and stuff. Being stupid to the high heavens.

Beanie caps
Push ups
Punk worship
$2 Chicken rice
Grooving the chinese way
One leg!!" in the lift

... Celebration of life.

I'm in love. with Life, with God, with the YF, with friends... so beautiful.

Count your blessings

Dennis
Your beauty and grace astounds me, beyond anything I've ever seen in anyone else. Thank you for the support you've shown me, for knowing just how and when to do what. You know me to my innermost being, sometimes even to where I'm afraid to look. For seeing the human in me and relating to me in that very same way. For giving me space to breathe to grow and to love you. For simply standing there, being an anchor while I flutter off in a hundred different directions. For being selflessly loving, and not taking note of it. For the humor you paint in my life, and the support you grant me.

You're amazing.

Becky
You're growing more and more beautiful each day. Somehow.
Being squished side by side everyday in the missions trip forged a tiny bit of friendship that is becoming more and more precious as the weeks go by. The girly talks and jokes, giggles and photos. Small gestures often over-looked before now stand out like colours on gray scale. Thank you for sharing that little part of your life with me, for letting me in, for taking 969 rides with me home.

Joshua
Message me when you get back.
Solid. Yet similiarly tender.
You probably don't know how much you've ministered to me by allowing me into your life. Thank you, for walks in the park, for going the pavillion pamphlets, for the worship ministry. For being transparently flawed and beautifully human. You give me a chance to be human too. I don't know what I would do with out you.

Joshie
You.
For dinner.
For the SMSes and ICQ messages.
For the insight.
For the laughter.
For the support. (a whole lot by the way)
For the cold intellect and the warm heart.
For the co-responsibility of CGLism.
For the burdens that are impressed upon your heart.
For letting me be a friend.
For letting me know you more.
For being a thought facilitator.
For reassuring me.
For standing firmly for what you belive.
For your subtle strength...
... and unexpected humour.
I've always had reserved respect for you. Being so solid and sound, lightyears away from my own nature, yet you let me find a way to work with you, turning differences into strengths and new experiences. I've grown so much over the last year. We make a great team! In and out of CG. And sometimes, I wish you get as much from me as I do from you.

Ian
Eh. 4 years of hellish laughther.
I don't know with who else I would end up dangling on one leg from the elevator bars in church. Or actually enjoy techno with. Or maybe do some punk-worship. You're a giant ball of giggles.
I love you anyhow.