You make rediculous claims.
~ Me to myself. In Chinese class

And I really do. I run the risk of irrelavancy and am very much aware of this. So much so that I am becoming concerned about my ability to relate and connect. What is left of me but a dismembered brain floating around a sea disembodied parts. Some are good at doing, some building, some seeing, some thinking, some talking, some listening.... there's a strength (an isolatry strength) in each. And we smush together trying to build this thing called life.

What if we stoped trying to build life, and tried to piece ourselves together to form a coherant human being?

Maybe the question isn't so much how we do something, or why we do something, but what is it that we're doing in the first place.

You make rediculous claims, Hannah.

Today, infinity crossed my mind, Like a bicycle making skinny tire marks on a patch of dry pavement on a post-rainy day. what of?

It told me to be humble, and that all the knowledge in the world today is but knowledge in the world today. What about the worlds that are to come? That have ceased to be? Or might have been but weren't quite so fortunate? And we're just singular beings, one mind each, one tongue, one pair of eyes and that little chunk of space that our bodies fill, that we can't even claim absolution over. What of the world today?

And that was a gilmpse, of infinity's big toe.

In other news, I laughed way too much today.
It was jolly good.
Teehee.

Once again, remember your center.
And try to curb your madness.

Somethings need to be left well enough alone.

In the spirit of Yin-Yang and Chesterton. I am attempting to be extreme on both ends of the spectrum. Because really, both ends meet. Like East is West.

BREATH GODAMMIT FOR FRICK'S SAKE!

excuse me while I implode

Now's when I have to make wise decisions, and seize every moment.

Pat Barker is an amazing novelist. What wouldn't I give to write like her? I am increasingly convinced that different eyes see different hues of reality. It really is all subjective. But subjectivty doesn't negate the existance of concrete reality. The Man is short in relation to a tall man and tall in relation to one who is short. But he is The Man.

It really depends on who you are.

Three

1) If it's just the thought that counts, I don't know what you're counting.

And neither am I interested in it.

2) Choose your battles. Some are won by simply choosing to walk away.

You are worth the battle you choose to fight.

3) I don't want to live my life glorying in the excuses of my being.

I want to love myself enough to change me.

I love me just the way I am, and I am changing.

Yinging and Yanging it

Oh to be true! To love truthfully! To be ferociously wild and impeccably sane!

The waking hours of the semester are almost over.
I'm going to brush my teeth.

Backburner baby
You're gonna bring yourself down.

Last night, Mel and I had a conversation pertaining to being someone you're not. Of trying to fit into a particular role, idea, persona. Hell, of just trying to fit in. Unnaturally.

Well, what if that IS who one is? A person who is constantly trying to be someone he's not?

I have noticed that it is hard for me to get along with such. And then we talked of being 'down-to-earth'. What does that mean? Who is 'down-to-earth'? Do we like 'down-to-earth' people? or do we not?

You understand the earth. But you're not necessarily on it.
I choose not to be.
Yes.

And then I look at myself this past year, and a shadow of curiousity flickers across the radar. How much of me this year is me? who...? And then the shadow disolves into the light of the knowlegde that such questions have a time and a place to be asked.

And that time is not now.