I am afriad of being still. Of silence, of being alone with myself. Of looking around at my life so full and juicy only to ask myself, Is there all there is? Is that what I'm left with to show? I couldn't have asked for a better existance, for better parents, for better friends, for a better family, a better boyfriend, a better educational experience, a better track record, a better future, a better me. My life, as far as human beings are concerned, is perfect.

I would not want to be anyone else other then myself. But I am still afraid of being alone, in case my life crumbles like a deserted sandcastle on a deserted beach where there will be no footprints to acknowledge my existance. I keep doing doing

Ahhh, and then Robby dear Robby comes onto MSN to share my little burden, and Belmont makes me laugh:

Me:
i have no more strenth bel

Belmont:
he will raise u
he raised lazarus
and u are only hannah
he can do it

and u might want to add
lazarus was cold meat
and u r hot

Ok I need to rest.

There's someone I'd like to see...

Two seconds ago someone whom I love 'removed [me] from his or her buddy list' on Adium. In raw honesty, I guess it was my fault, as innocent as it was really. I'm really sad and a little fearful for our relationship, but I have no more energy to have my open heart taken for closed rides. I can't keep picking up after nonsense.

But it's ok. I guess I shouldn't have said what I said to whoever I said it too. But it was drawn out in the context of what you set me up to. But no matter, I'm sorry, I'm indignant and I'm going to school in a few minutes. I hope to talk to him soon because I have decided, no matter what, to always love him.

But of course, the effectiveness of such an arragement also depends on YOU and your emotional age. jerk.

...He never mentions a word to me.

Robby's alive!
That means we'll have more hanging out in the future. :)

have wasted too much time, effort and me.
no more.

Gonna try to be more honest.

I'm so tired.

The city lights flicker across her face like the memories of her years. Above the head rest of the passengar seat, her tuft of hair glows a smokey white. I remember clearly the day the war started. Oh Jane. Frank, beside her, weaves through downtown traffic and his wife's words of caution.

I'd write your stories, I would.
You're a part of mine.

When you are humble, you can listen. When you can listen then you can learn; and you will see the difference between truth and disobediance.

Now that's a place where we can start.
No YBHs, ok Dustin?

I'm afriad that I will not make it in life.

I don't even know what the defintition of 'make it' is.

Flow with power!

Ok, if anyone still reads my blog, I need some help. One of my best friends, RK3 wants to create a Parkour logo with Chinese characters. For those of you who aren't familiar with Parkour, it's french for 'Free-running' ala Casino Royalle. It's a sport-to-be that entails running aross town in the most trecherous way possible, scaling walls, railings and basically anything scalable.

Anyway back to the logo: it's been narrowed down to three options (just like the three options for Merger between Singapore and Malaysia):

A) 流力：(liu3 li4) A pun on 流利 （liu3 li4）which basically means fluency. 流利 would be used in describing one's aptitude in say, a langauge. BUT! I've changed the last character from 利 to 力。 力 basically means strength (like what sporty spice has on her arm 女力)。 So putting the two together you get some obscure sense of flowing power. Which... is kinda what parkour is. in my opinion.

B) 飞：（fei1）Courtesy of JM. 飞 is what it looks like: to fly. Which... is kinda what parkour is too. And to placate my desperate need for a pun, JM suggests an English term 'fey' which means magic, or 'touched by magic'. Cool so far, but it also means fated to die or at the point of death. Not entirely something you want on your shirt while you're leaping off a tall builing in hopes of getting to the next tall building in one piece. Which leads me to the third option

C) 跳楼：(tiao4 lou2) Courtesy of JH. 跳 means 'jump' 楼 is indicative of a storey in a building. So it would literally mean "to jump off a building". Which... is kinda what parkour is. But the implicative meaning is to commit suicide. And as Robby says: 'we aren't TRYING to die, we just might in the process'.

So anyway, leave a comment and tell me which you think would be best tattooed onto the chests of burly parkour men while they run freely through the city.

Round and round

Wheels that never stop turning. Will I ever stop running? Better yet, can we keep running together?

I'm really nice to my friends, but i'm a terrible girlfriend.
Oh whatever Hannah, you're a sweetheart.
~Me to Majortom and Majortom to Me.

Oh really?