Lovefool

Put simply, persons who are attracted to the pastoral ministry are often people who have a need 'to help people.' They like to be liked and need to be needed. Their personal needs become the basis for their ministry--and also their greatest problem.

~ Resident Aliens

Confirmed!
Walking with Elim to One More Sushi, I asked her about her thoughts on focusing on what one is good at VS, toning down positive traits to nurture weaker ones.

I think that I really am not naturally good at anything in particular. I might do reasonably well in a lot of things, but that still leaves me a master of none. And the little that I have gained fluency in is a result of deep focus and deliberate nuturing.

How dare I leave these strengths behind and gamble on my weaknesses?

Only in the context of Godly grace and only with the understanding of my finiteness can I accept the fact that my greatest strengths invariably translate into my greatest weaknesses and needs. And were I to stand alone humanly. I would fall.

Should I dare leave these strengths behind and gamble on my weaknesses?

My strengths are a result of specialization, of deep focus and deliberate nurturing. A very, progressive, positivistic, modern, individualistic, capitalist notion. Where is God in all this? Does he want me to be good in some areas and to keep persuing my strengths?

Will that lead to engorged weaknesses?

Perhaps then, I shouldn't look to being the best that I can be, but the most.
Instead of being amazing at an individual trait, I should seek to be a wellrounded holistic person, and let my not-so-amazing-individual-traits, live together in a community of the self.

Will that not deny the true nature of my being and identity?

Will it? Nurturing a weakness, doesn't mean being who you're not, but being more of who you are.

I am not many things, but I am also many things. And in the many that I am, I am weak in some. and in the few that I am strong in, I may specialize in one. Then that will start to consume me. My identity and my being. And then I will cease to exist, and be a mere reflection of that one thing.

So to kill my babies, to suffocate my strengths and to tend to the frail doesn't mean trying to grow fruit off the wrong tree, but rather to make all native fruit grow. Together.

Lord, give me the courage to lay my strengths down, to become like a child in capability, sufficiency and value. That in running against the wisdom of the world, I will find the foolishness God.

Cool Runnings

Do eggs float when boiled? A question that wagered running out in the dark of night in nothing but your underwear. Eggs DON'T float when boiled of course, but they do when the water's salty.

So since the conditions of the bet weren't specified clearly enough. All five of up stripped down to our undies and took off into the night.

Thankfully it was only 8 degrees out. It could've been worse.

I hope this didn't aggrevate your cold Andre.

I know everyone has their faults and shortcomings, but to have someone bear them with you is another story. I fear that my faults keep such possibilities at great lengths away.

And anyhow, I realise that affirmation is needed more then we realise.

Thank you to all you peeps who have contributed to my healing process from food poisoning.

1) Shu, for making me lots of food. Tea, Cookies and Porridge.
2) Tom, for Kenny vs Spenny, Tea @ starbucks
3) Jenn, for not letting me clean out the laundry room when the washing machine decided to eat all the stuff.
4) Mel, for driving me to school and back.

Now I will lie down and tremble.
Gag.

Inertia creeps

I've got a lot to do, but somehow, resort to dreaming.
Tomorrow, the week starts anew, and I have a lot to accomplish.

I come. slowly.

meep.

I have chalked up $30 in library fines this term.
I am highly resenting this.

Resent.

today. was very strange indeed.

Surfice it to say, I had a strange day. From mourning for the state of the church, and then being introduced to 7 new people over span of 20 minutes, to peeling a hardboiled egg in class (for someone else), forgetting some joke I had made (in obsession) a year ago and to unveiling the distance between the poli sci and commerce world view. My fortune cookie told me that a man with brown eyes will give me a surprise. Tony fits the bill, and he scares me all the time.

I have also learnt that I need to slow down whenever I'm on an adrenaline rush. That I am resistant enough to fight inertia when tumbling down the hill of activity. Also, you can only meet God in the present, so i've got to stop living in Singapore or Commerical Drive.

But here.

Love.

Roles and relationships.

The link is tighter then I like.

I have found that the greatest power lies in not being good at what you do, but in your ability to define what you do. What good is it to be good at something if someone else can define it to be meaningless?

Fish

Drunk with my biblestudy gourp, I think i foun my nirvana in Moby and Pale ale. Never had a perfect moment. Al;ways tried too hard to the point of removing myself from it all. but today, with the crowd and th ebeer, i found the perfect moment.

Oh, and we watched harry pooter, and i'm sure that I only like it cos he reminds me of my brpther.
You have friends here.

yeah.