The time between meeting and finally leaving is sometimes called falling in love.

It's ok to be broken.

During the mock interview, I became acutely aware of the joy of the present. I am not applying for summer jobs, so that doesn't loom on my mind. Although I really should get on looking for a practicum position. Anyhow, summers, articles, big firms, small firms... it's ok. My future's bright. Even the Naga medicine man told me so. But in all, I felt a confidence descend on me - that it will be more then ok. It will be wonderful.

You know me.
Well maybe.
Maybe it's me.
Maybe I do prowl between the lines looking for traces of history
trances of me.
But even so, I'm ok with that.
I'm unapologetic about my hostility
and I guess I have to break somewhere.
So it's here where the closest hurts the most-est.
And you know that I wouldn't rend us disrespect,
and give it any less, or let it rest
as if it never happened.

But it does not mean that I am unhappy.
Or that I care.

I don't want to go into the world with this sense of asuming that I know exactly what I should do and be, or that such an identity has already be set in stone for me. It only leads to guilt and frustration, the suppression of possibilities and a ridiculous sense of inadequacy. None of that should be, because God's burden is easy and his yoke is light, and we were made to celebrate Him and to glorify Him by enjoying Him forever.

So I'm here on a glorious Sunday afternoon, doing what I do.

I got home at 12.30 last night. Full of beef choke (congee) and affection for this world. My hair smelled of the bar - a salty-sweet concoction of alcohol, smoke, sweat (mostly not mine) and dying summer rain. I showered and crawled into bed, aching like a marathon runner. My neck was sore from too many dips on the dancefloor. Whiplash maybe? I couldn't turn over to get into a more comfortable spot without feeling my muscles groan I think I over did it dancing this time. Tried to make it for 930's yoga session but at 830 my parched and aching body was not going to let up.

"I've been here for 5 weeks, but I think I've heard her complain about over-doing-it-at-the-party-the-night-before on 4 seperate weekends." Martin to James, after watching Get Smart at the SUB, and before painfully turning down Jin's imploring request for a beer.

I'm now in IKE, music in my head and my Corporations textbook on my knee. My life is perfect (except for my lost necklace and the missing heart that fell out from my wallet). As I told Jarrett, Soush and Martin, it's not so much that there are people who are here for me, it's having people who let me be there for them.

I want to be an egg and sleep in an incubator.

Whitie Tighties

Here are the results

Jarrett Likes
Apologies
Appearing to Enjoy Classical Music
Arts Degrees
Asian Fusion Food
Awareness
Bad Memories of High School
Book Deals
Coffee
Dinner Parties
Diversity
Facebook
Farmer’s Markets
Gentrification
Gifted Children
Graduate School
Grammar
Having Gay Friends
Irony
The Ivy League
Kitchen Gadgets
Knowing What’s Best for Poor People
Lawyers
Living by the Water
Microbreweries
Music Piracy
Musical Comedy
Not having a TV
Plays
Recycling
St. Patrick’s Day
Sushi
Sweaters
T-Shirts
Tea
The Onion
Vintage
Wine

Hannah Likes
80s Night
Apologies
Apple Products
Architecture
Arrested Development
Arts Degrees
Awareness
Barack Obama
Being an expert on YOUR culture
Being Offended
Book Deals
Children’s Games as Adults
Coffee
The Daily Show/Colbert Report
Difficult Breakups
Dinner Parties
Dogs
Facebook
Farmer’s Markets
Film Festivals
Girls with Bangs
Graduate School
Grammar
Hating Corporations
Having Black Friends
Having Gay Friends
Indie Music
Irony
Japan
Juno
Knowing What’s Best for Poor People
Lawyers
Living by the Water
Marijuana
Modern Furniture
Mos Def
Music Piracy
Musical Comedy
Natural Medicine
Non-Profit Organizations
Not having a TV
Plays
Religions their parents don’t belong to
Sarah Silverman
Scarves
Self Aware Hip Hop References
Shorts
St. Patrick’s Day
Study Abroad
Tea
Toyota Prius
Traveling
Vintage
Wes Anderson Movies
Wine
Writers Workshops
Yoga

Verdict:
Jarrett: 38
Hannah: 57

Hannah's more white.

Home, Truely?

I can't quite decide what to make of JBJ's life, or death, mostly because I never really gave much thought to politics. I'm an LKY supporter for a variety of reasons, but when I saw JBJ's death on the news my heart stopped. Mostly because I mis-read it and thought it was "Singapore's Leader" (I don't know what I'd do if LKY were to go), but also because he's been quite the land mark in Singapore. If anything, to me, he represents an undying love for a nation that has dealt him a heavy hand. A passion for the people who, for the most part, have left him to fight this battle alone. I'd like to love Singapore that way too, but not through politics (obviously).

Anyway, I was very nervous that the Singapore press would demonize him... [[edited :: 0030 hrs]]

Rest in peace Mr Jayaretnam - I never had a chance to vote, and it probably would never have gone to you, but you will be missed. Not just by me but by the entire nation. And while you never won the votes, I think that in a way you have won our hearts.

I did speak with you once, I believe, outside the ICA. I think I was in the middle of figuring out my Citizenship status. Looking back, I note the irony.

Watching you die

I kept what you had blogged me on my computer. That was 4 years ago when it brought me to tears. Re-reading it had the same effect on me today because I love you. And I know that that doesn't matter to you now, but I hope that I will matter to you again, at some point. Right now, I'm learning to be patient. But I hope you know that I will always be there for you. I think you know that, and a little part of you feels guilty about running to me as a last resort, without really knowing what to do with our friendship. But you can't quite deal with the latter right now. I don't mind, I have my own life to lead too and it is very full. And as much as I'd love for you to be in it, I know I can't be demanding, You are, after all, still so young. You'll somehow always be 16 to me.

Ok. I've had it. I'm not the biggest authority on politics and world events (I did think Kofi Annan was Samuel L Jackson and still can't quite tell you what NATO is), but here's my two cents.

I mean free speach is great and all, especially in this time of election fever. But when it's reduced to unqualified name-calling it has no value and is dangerous. I say this particularly because I am within the context of the university where, you would expect, individuals to be a little more educated and well thought-out.

You can't call Bush a moron and expect us to take it. Being in Vancouver does not mean that you need not back up baseless arguements that seem to regurgitate mainstream discourse. You can't just sit around and poke fun at Palin and what have you not if you're not going to tell me WHY they're bad ideas. Being conservative is not enough. Maybe it's because I grew up in a one-party state, but I find it terribly elementary to pidgeon hole everything with shallow labels.

But that's all besides the point. Kick me for not having a sense of humour, but I think poking fun at minority political views is tantamout to ideological discrimination. If someone can't spell out their political views without fearing a negative reaction, then we've lost sight of what it means to be a democracy. You're supposed to engage goddammit, not senselessly intimidate each other with what's politically popular.

Of course, my feathers ruffle when my friend tells me that he loves McCain and what America stands for, and that he lingers on the otherside of the Huntington fence as I do. But give him a chance to explain why, and it makes sense. Not to say that I agree with him, but I would not take him to be a fool, and, I learn.

So what I see now, is a politically-illiterate mass, thinking that they know what it means to have a democracy since they can arrogantly belittle the views of others when they themselves have not put much thought into their own. If political ideology were like skin colour, things would be a little different.

I'd like to think, that if one really has thought through their stand on things, they'd respect another's opinion, because they would know what it takes to come to a personal conclusion. And from respect comes engagement, didectic discourse and a richer, more substantial democracy.

In my disgruntled state, I'm feel like this society is a farce. Give me Singapore's one party state anytime.

So between Hannah and Jarrett....



Who's more white?

... Akan Datang