Monday, June 30, 2003

This was our song. At least for my imaginary you.
It still hurts a tad bit, juxtaposing then and what's to be.

It's amazing
how you make your face just like a wall
how you take your heart and turn it off
how I turn my head and lose it all

It's unnerving
how just one move puts me by myself
there you go just trusting someone else
now I know I put us both through hell

I'm not saying
there wasn't nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
I'm not saying
we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me

But if that's how it's gonna leave
straight out from underneath
then we'll see who's sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
you know you've been depending on
the one you're leaving now
the one you're leaving out

It's aggravating
how you threw me on
and you tore me out
how your good intentions turn to doubt
the way you needed time to sort it out

Tell me is that how it's going to end
when you know you've been depending on
the one you're leaving now
and the one you're leaving out

And I'm worried I'll be singing this again over the course of 3 years.

Sunday, June 29, 2003

So anyway, we like had this awesome time in church jamming and rolling around laughing and stuff. Being stupid to the high heavens.

Beanie caps
Push ups
Punk worship
$2 Chicken rice
Grooving the chinese way
One leg!!" in the lift

... Celebration of life.

I'm in love. with Life, with God, with the YF, with friends... so beautiful.

Count your blessings

Your beauty and grace astounds me, beyond anything I've ever seen in anyone else. Thank you for the support you've shown me, for knowing just how and when to do what. You know me to my innermost being, sometimes even to where I'm afraid to look. For seeing the human in me and relating to me in that very same way. For giving me space to breathe to grow and to love you. For simply standing there, being an anchor while I flutter off in a hundred different directions. For being selflessly loving, and not taking note of it. For the humor you paint in my life, and the support you grant me.

You're amazing.

You're growing more and more beautiful each day. Somehow.
Being squished side by side everyday in the missions trip forged a tiny bit of friendship that is becoming more and more precious as the weeks go by. The girly talks and jokes, giggles and photos. Small gestures often over-looked before now stand out like colours on gray scale. Thank you for sharing that little part of your life with me, for letting me in, for taking 969 rides with me home.

Message me when you get back.
Solid. Yet similiarly tender.
You probably don't know how much you've ministered to me by allowing me into your life. Thank you, for walks in the park, for going the pavillion pamphlets, for the worship ministry. For being transparently flawed and beautifully human. You give me a chance to be human too. I don't know what I would do with out you.

For dinner.
For the SMSes and ICQ messages.
For the insight.
For the laughter.
For the support. (a whole lot by the way)
For the cold intellect and the warm heart.
For the co-responsibility of CGLism.
For the burdens that are impressed upon your heart.
For letting me be a friend.
For letting me know you more.
For being a thought facilitator.
For reassuring me.
For standing firmly for what you belive.
For your subtle strength...
... and unexpected humour.
I've always had reserved respect for you. Being so solid and sound, lightyears away from my own nature, yet you let me find a way to work with you, turning differences into strengths and new experiences. I've grown so much over the last year. We make a great team! In and out of CG. And sometimes, I wish you get as much from me as I do from you.

Eh. 4 years of hellish laughther.
I don't know with who else I would end up dangling on one leg from the elevator bars in church. Or actually enjoy techno with. Or maybe do some punk-worship. You're a giant ball of giggles.
I love you anyhow.