Saturday, October 25, 2003

Open 24 hours, 27 billion served.

Just give me an hour's reprieve....

But I have to realise that I cannot be selective in my love,
That I cannot have favouritism in my heart.
That everyone is my neighbour.
That God so loved the world... i.e. the whole damned thing.
And that I have to do that too.


Just don't burn me while I try.

Open wide

And let me in.
I'll be quiet, careful and gentle.
I won't move, or hurt you, or be too strong.

I'll just sit here, let you all be you and... watch.

Knowledge is power...
And power is void with out wisdom and love.
I do not love naturally, and Hannah rises up every once in a while to flaunt brutality in my face.
I love the little finger game, and even more so when it is a challenge.

Drag me to my knees, that I may not hurt, move or be too strong.
Not solely for my sake alone.

I don't show it, but I struggle all the time inside...

With myself

Thursday, October 23, 2003

Losing it

I fell...
I feel...
All over the place.
All over the table, the stairs, the floor.
The lounge, the library, the halls, the rooms.

Give me hint, a reminder, a warning, a slap.
Hopefully from God, or me, not you, not them,
Take it back, suck it in, push it down, force away,
Try to forget, to improve, to realise and to change.

How is it that I see perfection in another's imperfections,
Yet loathe what I see in me?

Moderation spreads throughtout the whole, It makes the weakest, the strongest, and those in between... all sing the same song together.
Republic ~ Plato

If you could only see how blue...
Love me tender

... but don't throw me away after...

... especially not in the guy's toilet, in the shower cubical....
... and don't turn on the shower before turning away...

But love me tender anyhow.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

T ah-chai

12 mn you come knocking on my door to return a tupperware and to hunt for food.
Is it just me or is that typcial of a Malaysian male?
So we warm up my aunty's muffins and just... talk.

Another one of those little blessings that God has dropped on my doorstep.

A bouy I guess.

"I know more people. You know people more"
~ Me to Thiyachai

Was that a tinge of regret I hear?

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

When will I ever learn?

I remember thinking that one has to be a complete person before being able to enter into a meaningful friendship.
I also remember that in order to be an individual, one has to have some sort of social solidarity.
So how does that come together?
What have I done?

I guess it's good that I slip and fall once in a while.
Keeps me on my toes.
Not good to get too comfy with your situation.

It's interesting you know, when you're tossed into a foreign place.
Sensitivity is heightened and everything just seems more real.
It's as if moving requires some sort of a concious effort.
To walk...
To open an umbrella...
To tilting your head down so that you see the puddles.

Everything is so new,
It gets tiring sometimes.


Thank you God for reminding me once again what I need to find.

Thanks Dennis, for the lift.
Not a big thing I know but believe me, it plays a larger part then meets the eye.
Thank you God too for that.

"don't ever be discontented......that'll make you feel worse."

" your life's beautiful. why let some things that you know will be present for sometime to bother you? live alongside it, it isn't necessarily unpleasant, like my nosey neighbours who's been stealing our sng kim from our plant. "

~ Billy

Friday night out.

Someone's getting annoyed with my obession.

The old-school-bright-red-vacuum-cleaner-that-actually-inflates that I use to clean my room


Which reminds me. What happened to my art?
I don't have theatre in my life anymore.
The only bit left is this basic make-up kit, covered, in my cupboard

Monday, October 20, 2003


In a subtle way.
Maybe my work is done. I've told my story.
Now it's up to Someone else to work.
In your story.

Just well, remember me.

Sunday, October 19, 2003


I'm ill.
Had way too much fun.
Visited James' (my chrisitan Arts One friend) church friends over a pot-luck.
Rediscovered the need to belong.
Spoke to Goh, a singaporean singaporean.
Made friends.
Had Coffee.
Came back to music and cards.

Woke up weak.

And Plato has been a bitch.

Ack. Praise God anyhow.