Saturday, June 04, 2005

It's also a thought that Changed the world

In the wisdom of my father:

Somethings are better left unsaid.

So despite beliving in transparency, I also believe in truth. Truth that engages and acknowledges the worth and beauty of the individual. There's time to transparency and there's grace. And maybe, just maybe, I'll experience the beauty and goodness of it all, and not just theorise about it.

So for now, I will struggle with my thoughts and secret conversations. Bite my tongue and keep my teeth in. Only when I finally do not feel the need to talk this way, will I
Be
Free.

She travels outside Of karma, karma She travels outside Of karma
Indeed, I can live without all this.

Friday, June 03, 2005

I've had a tiring day/week/month/year, and I'm all prepared to go to bed/scream out loud/go on a holiday/jump off the roof. But there are small things that make me smile/get me through/make it ok/make life amazing. I just wish, as Vivek keeps pointing out, that I could make them last.

---
TSD once again speaks truth into my life:

Blanche regretfully blames herself for driving her husband to suicide by cruelly rejecting him - at another dance casino:

"I killed him. One night, we drove out to a place called Moon Lake Casino. We danced the Varsouviana! Suddenly in the middle of the dance floor, the boy I had married broke away from me and ran out of the casino. A few minutes later - a shot! (A distant shot sounds) I ran - all did - all ran and gathered about the terrible thing at the edge of the lake. He stuck a revolver into his mouth and fired. It was because, on the dance floor, unable to stop myself I said - 'You're weak! I've lost respect for you! I despise you!"

Walk humbly Hannah.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Me, Myself and I

ENFJ: The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.

Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.

You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.
You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.
---
In other news...

ENFP: The Inspirer
You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Amen. I got into IR.
Soon, I will be relating internationally.
---
1) Has to be a disciple, not just a christian.
2) Has to complement my skills (or lack there of)
3) Has to have the same life Goal
4) Has to be Global in effectiveness, not just open.
5) Has to have music in his veins
6) at least an AY from now.
I'll be free.
I've been having wonderful talks with my juniors at VJC. Chris Goh, Shaun...
Man is life ever beautiful.

I've also got a story to tell, I'm just too tired to put it up now.
Soon.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Today, Paul suggested that I be honest.
And I'd love to be.
Only, I don't trust myself to be kind and loving.

So I will wait for a while, let the Holy Spirit marinate me, and maybe (just maybe ahhh..) we'll get somewhere.