Saturday, February 15, 2003

"i will always love you. no matter how many years from now. there
will always be a twinge deep down for you. we made mistakes.
for which i am still sorry. like you said. "for the unchangeable.
for so much." i asked for forever. you gave it. in your own
little way. i will always remember. maybe someday we'll talk
again. as friends."

Were every hand held out to me, in mornful comfortation,
And every eye sympathetic to my selfish desertation,

even so, nothing would really change.

Everytime i think of you, i get a shock right through into a bolt of blue.
It's no problem of mine but it's a problem i find,
Living a life that I can't leave behind.

... even if I tried, it creeps up on me like a shadow,
aside from the claws.
Turning to confront, i end up staring at myself.

I feel fine and I feel good I'm feeling like I never should,
Whenever I get this way I just don't know what to say,
Why can't be ourselves like we were yesterday.

... I live 2 lives, (I'm good at that) a face and a heart.
They never agree.
I paint my face day by day, delicately with a trained hand.
The more superficial the better.
Stupid things don't hurt
Else the heart, constantly bleeds,
running me dry... save for... my face,
that delicate one-hair-bridge that i tread on everyday.

And yesterday...
To trade this for that,
Sometimes, I underestimate everything.

Everytime i see you falling, i get down on my knees and pray.
I don't think I'm ever going to get up... anymore.

Wednesday, February 12, 2003

With your cherry lips and golden curls
You could make grown men gasp when you go walking past
And in your hot pants and high heels
They could not believe that such a body was for real
It seemed like rainbows would appear
Whenever you came near the clouds would disappear
Because you looked just like a girl
Your baby blues would flash and suddenly a spell was cast


I'm feeling fearful.
But I'm not showing it to myself.
I get panic attacks,
But being jaded helps.
I'm so unimpressed with myself
But I say no.



750 nude women form a heart around the words 'No War' on a hillside near the town of Byron bay, 700 kilometers (435 miles) north of Sydney, Australia, Saturday, Feb. 8, 2003. The women said they wanted to send Prime Minister John Howard a message to recall Australian troops from the middle east. (AP Photo/Icon Images).

Some things never change.

Tuesday, February 11, 2003

They were unimpressed

To be honest, I've seen you do better, but it was good.
Thanks girl, for being so talented in tact.

You will just not yet.

Good night world.

Monday, February 10, 2003

So I've gotten a confirmation quit date.


Now i just have to get another Job.

1) Pastor Wan's law firm.
2) teach.

Either that of i could spend my time, lazing around.

And I guess that's why they call it the blues,
Time on my hands could be time spent with you.
Laughing like children
Living like lovers
rolling like thunder under the covers
And i guess that's why they call it the blues...

~elton john

Sunday, February 09, 2003


They smoke.
They spit phlegm into the sink. Thick, yellow, glutinous, lumpy bits of germ-bags that super-glue themselves to the bottom of the sink.
They spend their time wasting away, taking offensive photos of themselves and sending them out to people.

They: Could you edit this? You need to type out whole questions. [Hands over a copy of Science 3A. their first brain-child.]
Me: Ok.[Accepts the CD, along with the 4 pages of edited mistakes I had completed earlier in the week]
[starts to do everything neatly. Suddenly struck with the exponential amount of work I am faced with.]
Me: Am i going to given extra pay for this
They: uh.. no...
Me: Ok, because this is out of my job scope. I'm only supposed to be doing sales are marketing, NOT editing
They: Actually... this is part of marketing what...
[pregnant pause]
Me: I honestly don't see how this has ANYTHING to do with marketing.
They: since you put it that way... don't do it then [Walks off in a huff]
[Leaves me, with nothing to do but to call the remaining 20 odd schools, all of which are inhabited by creatures without opposing fingers, and therefore cannot pick up the phone. Grump]

But seriously, how pathetic is that?
Actually... this is part of marketing what...
I'm sorry, but to me that reads I AM TRYING TO EXPLOIT YOU
It was almost hilariously feeble
And hideously obvious.

Dear God, please let me get that job with Tess...