Saturday, October 24, 2009

1. As with all situations it takes two to clap. And each hand will have its conditions, limits and expectations. But instead of anticipating and manipulating the other, how about sorting out my hand? To know my strengths and weaknesses, along with when and how to deal them out. I cannot look to the other to fix this game of bridge if I can't get the picture straight in my head. My picture. Only then can I even begin to think about a round of applause. 

2. Even if I do, and can trust another. What is my motivation for doing so, and is it healthy? I feel like I should think along the lines of institutional frameworks and safeguards. Like, what happens when the virtuous leader dies?

Do I make sense?
No lies. 
Just love. 

I forgive what you have done, No, I can't stay mad at the setting sun. Cause we all get tired, I mean, eventually and there's nothing left to do but sleep.

I know I will be pure.
Like snow- like gold.

[No Lies, Just Love ~ Bright Eyes]
A little stronger today.
Blessing are affected by, but are not a result of, consequences.


But then it is time again to ask: What is pleasing and what is right?
I needed the symphony this evening, to collect the days past in a contained wrap of red, black and gold, to be tossed around by the music. And somewhere between the violins and harpsichord, I was reminded again that what I have to say for myself, about myself, is pretty damn valid.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Waking up after a baptism of some sorts, it was as if someone had hit reset somewhere and I had risen from the water, a blank, cream-coloured canvas. Bursting with potential, I would gladly be anything, shaped elegantly into art. But more surprising was the fire - a quiet understanding and confidence hardening into a solid wisdom and strength.

This is what they call inspiration. And it doesn't always come from within.
I hit a rock wall (or more like, it hit me) and then nothing made sense.

Why do you like it? It makes no sense. 
Because it's pretty...
[Conversation at SAM]

Point taken? Yes, if I could take it, and sweep it under the rug for later.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Would've be anytime now. Hope you're safe. Am with you in my thoughts.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Simple and insensitive. All my blood for the sweetness of her laughter. I've always been too quick to, as an eager constructivist would be, to find building material in the words of others. Forgetting that we all create these ideas out of the same dust. I must train myself to recognize that my words and my stories can be as powerful and as valid as the next, balancing with wisdom and grace. First step: It is empowering to be here alone, with all the time in the world, no one to answer to, or to look out for, to nurture a double , balanced respect for myself and for the people around me.

When will I learn that it works both ways?
Let it not be said that I didn't do it out of love.