I hold my hand

Sometimes the anger and frustration drowns me... all of us.
A great sense of helplessness and a greater sense of loss.

I... we don't know what to do.

should we scream and holler, demanding sense,
senseless, for all sense is perceived.

should we speak in what we coin rational,
we drown... in vocabulary.

So we do one thing, the only open option.

To keep you close, and to always love you... no matter where you go.
No matter how hard you shake your head or how far you walk away.

A swelling between my eyes, and beneath my lungs
I have to learn to see her in flesh, not in my mind or in your heart.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow,
Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise Him above ye heavenly host
Praise Father Son and Holy Ghost.
Amen.

2 Years ago... or less

It's amazing
How you make your face just like a wall
How you take your heart and turn it off
How I turn my head and lose it all

It's unnerving
How just one move puts me by myself
There you go just trusting someone else
Now I know I put us both through hell

I'm not saying there wasn't nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
I'm now saying we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me

But if that's how it's gonna leave
Straight out from underneath
Then we'll see who's sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
You know you've been depending on
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

It's aggravating
How you threw me on and you tore me out
How your good intentions turn to doubt
The way you needed time to sort it out

I'm not saying there wasn't nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
I'm now saying we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me

But if that's how it's gonna leave
Straight out from underneath
Then we'll see who's sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
You know you've been depending on
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

I'm not saying there wasn't nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me

But if that's how it's gonna leave
Straight out from underneath
Then we'll see who's sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
You know you've been depending on
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

Tell me is that how it's going to end
When you know you've been depending on
The one you're leaving now
And the one you're leaving out

The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out
~Leave MB20

I had this strange inclination to bleed, everytime this song surfaced. It was a conversation i conjured up in the secret places of my thoughts, the places that i hardly visited for fear of the truth. There, i only spoke with you... that was all i had then you see.

And i will rant and rave this house down...
... and will you still love me?

For as much as you will try, i will try too and against my conscious desire
Nothing you say, i do not know.
Nothing you want, i do not pine for.
Nothing you feel, i do not understand why.

you know i like doing things impactful.
And you know i like reflecting them back.

That was futile baby... and I'm the one who's sorry now.

Deep inside this armor... the warrior is a child

I really love Daniel, and i'm just so glad that after 18 years of sibling strife, we've finally formed a bond beyond blood.

So life has taken an upturn... all the way since my A levels ended. It's as if God is telling me, time to get this right now.
So relationships have solidified, some have dissolved... but all for the better in everything i see His hand.

He has blessed the work of my hands. Despite doing nothing but telemarketing (which may I add has to be the no-brainer job of the year), my boss is (somehow) impressed, though I don't think I've done anything to warrent that. But thank you God.

So work has been going my way, I got my pay, my hours, my scope. Perfect.

You said ask and I'll give the nations to you

And Dennis, I love you.