Saturday, May 19, 2007

I love supportive friends, who affirm and challenge me, who walk by me and love.
Thank you.

Thursday, May 17, 2007


Yes it is pretty obvious that no one knows how the future will pan out and what God has up his sleeve is anyone's guess.

But till then, I will be living through conviction. Doing what I think ought to be done.

And note to self: As you have seen, wisdom is needed.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Gah, I missed an appointment for a patient and had to turn another one away. SO WEAK. I messed up. Like my bank.

No, you don't understand. I need a REASON. Telling me that it isn't workable does not do anything for me. I KNOW it isn't workable by protocol, that's why I wrote a PROPOSAL. By telling me it won't work due to reasons my proposal addresses does not constitute an ANSWER.

So I'm lying whimpering on the floor for a bit. I hate being defeated. I hate having my perfect little plans tossed aside, suffocated by the necessary fists of structure and guidlines. My pretty pretty blueprints smeared by the chunky clunky insitutional templates.

Oh well, I just needed a little rant. Now, I'll just roll out of my puddle of salt, brush down my clothes and smooth out my hair as I walk in the direction of the decision makers. I want this, or at least an answer.

And if all else fails. I simply don't want to be bitter.
Not in this winter weather, god no!
If the Singapore government ever spied on me, I hope it had been that Saturday evening with Shu at that Congee place on Main and Broadway. Expounding on my long forgotten issues of identity and race, I found within my heart a deep emotional stirring toward my ex-Nationality. How I miss and love you.

In other news, I am tired of being white. Thanks for the attempts, but all the tolerance and rhetoric offered doesn't do much for this Chinese soul trapped in a White mind that is trapped in a Chinese body.

I'm not an egg, I'm an onion.