Saturday, August 29, 2009

Congratulations J & J. Many blessings to come. :)

Also, it's very refreshing to know that I have all the time in the world. And as Faifo says (in his capacity as my brother's PA): all your problems will go away, in time. In conclusion, that leaves you free to really build and be happy, one beautiful day at a time.

It's all love, all love.

Friday, August 28, 2009

After 6 years of politicizing my identity, I find myself in PP5252: Ethnic Politics and Governance in Asia. I am BORED. Not for want of content in the class, it really is awesome and the LKY school lives up to its name. But I am sian for having whipped this dead horse one too many times. I don't care anymore if my identity is primodial or circumstantial or constructed, I have better things to do: like, say, laugh, and go visit museums and have coffees and cocktails.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

When I start to get nervous about something, it's an indicator that it should happen. My stomach is like the gopher of life-choices.

Also, they call the Dean's office here the "Deanery". Isn't that cute or what!
Fiona Apple joins me on my morning transit, and I think about how I'd trust you because I identify with anger, betrayal and loss. Maybe.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

We accept the love we think we deserve.

I guess?

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Through the course of the conversations I've been having, I've come to the conclusion that it's not so much "moving on" (in all its fictional forgetfulness) as it is a question of whether you are ready to be hurt again. Kinda like lowering barriers to trade...
As regards to you, please surround yourself with people who will love your soul more than an ideal. Its a fallen world, we all make mistakes, and hence all the more we should love and support one another. (unfortunately, the Nobel Peace Prize is not won on the back of musings).

~ IL

Monday, August 24, 2009

Life really doesn't get any better then this.
I can't begin to express how happy and complete I am.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

"In Christ Alone" resonated with me today during worship, and I realised that the act of surrender to faith can be done in either weakness or strength, or both. Like struggling with the child-adult, fear-goodness dichotomies in one's motives to act (as I have been faced with over the past few months), approaching my faith in the context of reality and my personal growth takes on new shades and perspectives. And here I discovered a new depth of truth when it came to being, simply, a christian: That when I am willing not only to recognize my weaknesses, but even to abandon my strengths, and to count my gains as losses, to be emptied and poured out as a living offering that I can really overcome.


I've spent plenty of time both in and out of the church, both of which aren't the point. I remember being told, over and over again (and especially at the beginning of this year) about the weakness that is faith. Of the desperation, fear, and dread of the unknown and of futility that drags one into servile belief of, well, God. I can't speak for the ones who said these things to me, only that I don't see the freedom they talk about, and that I'm happy being here instead of there.

If, as I have seen in myself, the self is one's greatest enemy and barrier to freedom and success, there is no greater gift then that of grace: to be free of yourself and to really move toward something bigger then the sum of us. I don't really want to cling on to myself, I really don't have much to offer as it is.

But that being said, ironically, it's great coming back to myself. It's part of this whole moving on, giving myself up process.

In Christ alone will I glory, though I could pride myself In battles won. For I've been blessed beyond measure, and by His strength alone, I overcome. I could stop and count successes like diamonds in my hands. But these trophies could not equal to the grace, by which I stand. In Christ alone will I glory, for only by His grace I am redeemed. And only His tender mercy could reach beyond my weakness to my need. Now I seek no greater honor than just to know Him more, and to count my gains but losses to the glory of my Lord.

In Christ alone I place my trust and find my glory in the power of the cross. In every victory let it be said of me: My source of strength, my source of hope is Christ alone.