Saturday, January 24, 2004

"What is your blog for?"

selfish enterprise.
A desperate cry for recognition...
To say things that my barriers will not permit me to.

But really really really... to let the world know that there's more to me than that.
And there is, I just can't really say it.

And i realise that I duplicate the fault. I've gotten comfortable in my assumtions on people, based on my limited knowledge of them. But there are so many stories to tell, so many facets hidden, I feel foolish realizing that I actually thought them to be so simple.

"They're all so beautiful"
And as much as I am a person of practicality, I realise that by loving, I fear losing.
It's strange feeling this way,

Maybe this is what healing feels like.
When you see me here, in all my undignity and clutter and shame,
Without a song in my bubble or grace in my line
Will you still love me?

When you see me here, removed from that pocket of reality,
Without the ease in my smile or silver in my voice
Will you sill love me?

When you see me here, with everyone else,
Without everyone else.

I'm staying here.

Thursday, January 22, 2004

Flowers in the window

K. A passionate life.
H. A passionate soul.

Then again. It's all about the people. the person. the heart. the soul.

It's amazing how 2 hours can shape you as a person. How a simple decision changes a lot of things.
"I'd like that"


And i'm constantly being blown away by that.
Having conversation with someone is always an amazing experience. The worlds unfolded, the maps charted, the beings created extend beyond anything mankind has ever achieved.

I will never unlock the depths of human experience. I will never understand the human heart, mind, soul or anything. I'm too small and it's too big. It probably isn't for me. But I do know that it is for me to love, to live and to be, and I am very contented with that. I am constantly discovering how broken, helpless and pained we all are, and yes despite all that, how beautiful each and every person is.... no matter who you are.

It's unbelievable how self-absorbed as a species we can be. How set on conquering and controlling we are. Perhaps the greatest powers are bred in quiet humility. That in reaching out and honestly loving, you achieve the greatest, reach the furtherest and overcome the biggest.

Man has reached the moon, I'd rather reach for honey milk tea.

And yes, despite all this, I'll stand by my claim that I am a practical person.
What could be more practical then influencing the forces that have a hold on the very core of your being?

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

The most amazing thing Canada has done is to make me Chinese.

"i've never associated you with anything other than who i've discovered you to be through getting to know you"
~ Seth

How then can you not believe in angels?

Monday, January 19, 2004

Man... it's easy to get lost out here

Sunday, January 18, 2004



In retrospect on my previous post:

There are no auditions in relationships, but that doesn't garuntee a natural engagement.

Everyone has something to offer in any production, and sometimes, it's to be an audience.

And that's beautiful too, in an introspective, quiet, observing way.