Saturday, May 16, 2009

You aren't going to define me no more!
I am never sure of what I should do. But at least I know now that I want to do what is right.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Not point trying to rationalize things or to make them seem better this way. They just are - with or without meaning. Meanings don't do anything anyway, life still stares at you in the face with your lot in her hand- Take it or leave it. Meaning schmeaning.

And really, I have it fantastic. It'll just take a while for me to really function within that mindset.

Luxury problems, Hannah.
Akang Datang: no more bated breath.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

"It has two ways. The gold side leaps with its fierce heart. The black side stands still with cunning, hiding its gold between trees, seeing and not being seen, waiting patiently for things to come. I did not learn to use my black side until after the bad man left me."


Too bad I wasn't born in the year of the Tiger.
Simply put:

I wish you'd care enough. And that I'd be able to discern that.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I've given up trying to help people see beauty in this world. Not because of the recent chain of events, but because I realize that they just don't have my eyes and that's just not my problem. And also because if I try, it would probably end up be shit hitting the fan - I'm that ball of shit. So I'll just do what I do best, and love and just be. You'll be ok.

Dramatic? [so-and-so] is the friggin Phantom of the Opera. The entire cast.
~ Why I love Bogge.
Needing closure.

Monday, May 11, 2009

I'm learning that in most situations, it's just a downhill battle. No one and nothing can make it perfect again or assure you of anything. So what's the point? I think I'm still in shock from learning about the irreversible nature of life. You're never going to regain that flexibility, that bounce that ability to stay up all night and be ok the next day. You're never going to be able to take back that word, to change that heart or to make your body do what you want.

Maybe there's a freedom in letting things go. But somehow I always find myself watching in horror in case it catapults into space and does something really really bad.
Is it necessary to fight?

Sunday, May 10, 2009

I don't remember much of the time before. But I'm thinking that that doesn't really matter now does it?

It's a little too late for that
~ conversations in small tight spaces.
The shift of your gaze, and it all falls apart.