I get jealous reading and hearing of people who are living dramatic exciting lives in some exotic or fashionable sense. I read and listen, then implode to fret about my own little mundane existance. How very shallow and infantile of me. But then I realise that this isn't the case anymore, it's as if I had woken up on some dreary day and thought to myself "Bah! F*** this" and then lept out of bed to seize life by the horns and then wrestled to bring the both of us to higer heights.

The prize was empowerment. The gift of choosing what you do, for what purpose and how. The heightened responsibility and blossoming maturity, all taught me that one's life with all its excitment and drama really only reflects all the excitment and drama within a person herself to start with. I'm glad to be me.

I think I'm up and raring to go.

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I think that if I had told you then that you had made me cry,
We wouldn't be so fucked.
I'm sorry.

To give and be

I realise that building relationships -intentionally- is an intricate task. The questions at hand do not pertain solely to the means as much as they do to the motivations and the perimeters.

I shall not do so on my terms. That is pure selfishness.
I shall not do so on his/her terms. That is pure deceit.
I shall not do so on their terms. That is pure foolishness.

But do so on our terms, and maybe we'll get somewhere.

And in order to do that, we need to meet first, on the same stage.
Or at least, start facing each other.

Slowly.

I'm running out of things to say and the impetus to say anything.
Suffice it to note that I have been extremely busy of late, both in terms of things to do, things to be, and things to ponder upon. And while both my emotional and physical state picks up dangerous speed toward the end of the term, I have learnt to sift my sharing, giving revealing pockets to certain people, at certain times, for certain reasons.

One of which being that i have no energy to engage as such as I used to.

To Joshua and Lyndis: Congratulations and I want to be at table number 2.

Light up again.

If your relationship with God were a marriage, would it survive?