Saturday, December 18, 2004

I'm done with exams and I'm going to be swept up into activity soon.
Life isn't that simple or complex. It just is.

Whatever.

Friday, December 17, 2004

I really should've known

Call me crazy, but there's a part of me that enjoys the aching. It isolates me and keeps me deliciously apart. It reminds me of the need and even romantism of solitude. The danger, the thrill, the risk and investment of vulnerability have never been so high. It takes my breath away and makes every encounter singularly refreshing and overwhelming, bringing my blood to life and making my flesh dance. My mind is subjugated to the sheer power of song, I find a new life and it leads me faithfully, blindly.

I'm on a journey I've never been on before.
I'm helpless.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

This is the first time I'm freaking out over my exams. Well, not the first time.. But it's the first time that I'm not garunteed a good grade. During the A or O levels in Singapore, you could be assured that the good ol' formula of Read Remember and Reguritate would serve you well and that as long as you did your TYS, you'd be pretty much ok.

Now faced with the state policies of the Ottoman empire, I am NOT ok.



Sigh... Mr Pasha... why?

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

I have opened myself up to a whole new world with dazzling sights I never knew but now from way up here it's crystal clear that now I'm in a whole new world with

or without you.

And in this way, I can give and keep, allow and prevent, give and take, all in a single action.

All the cosmic power of the universe... in an inny bitty little space.
But oh, to be free.

Pray.

Not the busy chatty prayer we often do, but the other kind: prayer as emptiness, prayer as silence, prayer as stillness. Prayer as the absence of wanting and asking. Not the clamoring man waking his neighbor, desperate for bread, but the suckled child curled up, satisfied in the mother's arms

mark b. ~ the holy wild.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

"Preach the gospel at all times. If necessary, use words."
St. Francis.

Teach me to live, and love.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Sting me

Who's gonna tell you when it's too late?
Who's gonna tell you things aren't so great?

We've got reality to contend with. But vastly different realities. How do we move when we can't even agree on what we have? Where is the empirical? The Unshakable? The Absolute? The Fundamental that ensures?

Who?

Who's gonna pick you up when you fall?
Who's gonna hang it up when you call?

I cannot understand how one can stand alone. To be broken and not seeking to be mended, to be an island in a sea of sand. Who can bear the burden in solitude?

Who?

Who's gonna pay attention to your dreams?
Who's gonna plug their ears when you scream?

From the innane to the international. Someone's got to make all that matter.

Who?

Who's gonna hold you down when you shake?
Who's gonna come around when you break?

Sometimes, I look forward to the crises in my life (not that I have any). They stand testimony to His faithfulness. In this respect, yes, I fear nothing and I can be anything and in that, I can be me. In fullness.

Who?

You can't go on thinking nothing's wrong

Just look.

Who's gonna drive you home tonight?

Who?

Sunday, December 12, 2004

OH BABY YOU'RE SO FINE I'M GONNA MAKE YOU MINE YOUR LIPS THEY TASTE SO SWEET YOU'RE THE ONE FOR ME YOU'RE MY ECSTACY YOU'RE THE ONE I NEED I FEEL IN HEAVEN WHEN I LOOK IN YOUR EYES I KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE ONE FOR ME I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE WHERE YOU'RE FROM DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DID AS LONG AS YOU LOVE ME WHO YOU ARE WHERE YOU'RE FROM DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DID AS LONG AS YOU LOVE ME BABY ALL YOU PEOPLE CAN YOU SEE CAN YOU SEE HOW YOUR LOVE'S AFFECTING OUR REALITY EVERYTIME WE'RE DOWN YOU CAN MAKE IT RIGHT AND THAT MAKES YOU LARGER THEN LIFE YOU ARE MY FIRE MY ONE DESIRE BELIEVE WHEN I SAY I WANT IT THAT WAY TELL ME WHY AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HEARTACHE TELL ME WHY AIN'T NOTHING LIKE A MISTAKE TELL ME WHY I NEVER WANNA HEAR YOU SAY I WANT IT THAT WAY I'LL NEVER BREAK YOUR HEART I'LL NEVER MAKE YOU CRY I'D RATHER DIE THEN LIVE WITHOUT YOU I'LL GIVE YOU ALL OF ME HONEY THAT'S NO LIE QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART BEFORE YOU TEAR IT APART I SHOULD'VE KNOWN FROM THE START I'D GO ANYWHERE FOR YOU ANYWHERE YOU ASK ME TOO I'D DO ANYTHING FOR YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT ME TO EVERYBODY YEAH ROCK YOUR BODY YEAH EVERYBODY ROCK YOUR BODY RIGHT

BACKSTREETS BACK ALRIGHT