Majulah Singapura

I didn't cry like I thought I would. But I have to admit I was making a concious effort to not let the moment sweep me away. Like the river of life.

ANYWAY

I had a great time with family. Hanging out for a bit with my blind grand-aunt, speaking in chinese, I felt old enough to be at ease. With myself, with my family and with the world. It is true, when they say that you mellow with age. I have mellowed a lot.

'We're sitting in accordance to age, and height' giggles Shan, snug between Shaun and myself. We talked about bohemien rhapsody and funny videos on the internet. I find these moments to be very good for the soul. I feel reconnected.

Shawn reminisced about the TSD days when I helped him in rehearsal. I am insanely proud of him and his acting, the best I have seen. We talked of NDP and TSD and how the two might... blend.

Anyhow. I'm off to KL tomorrow with Tom, Thong and Darius.

I have to say, one of the best gift Dennis gave me was that of friendship: Belmont and Boey.

So as it stands true that our given spheres of activity extend throughout time and space in ways we do not fathom or foresee, do you still intend to keep the promises you made to me?

And I'm floating in the most peculiar way,
And the stars look very different today...

.There's nothing I can do.

I've crossed one thousand miles,
I'm feeling very still....

I think my spaceship knows which way to go.

If you tell me you love me very much,
I'll know.

May God's love be with you.

Borey's email hit me hard, shot through the heart. Have I forgotten her? No. I was just too lazy to send off a postcard. And I realise that in that respect, I am a pretty effing bad friend. I don't care to contact people, and will be happy in my little room until someone contacts me. I won't make an effort to keep in contact with someone unless I am riding on an emotional high, the waves of exhileration.

I live in the moment, and I will love madly, in that moment. But when that moment passes by, so do 'we'. And while i am making an effort to break my mold and actually be pro-active in relationships, I live quite happily within myself.

But this doesn't negate love. I loved you in a moment, and then we move on. And when we are here and now, I will love you again. I wonder if I can be faulted for having my relational self dictated by geographical and temporal constraints. Am I held by these cups? Or just plain fucking lazy?

This is especially for Glen, Shubs and Sarah.



nothing less then Oh My God.

For this, I'd relive falling off the treadmill.

OH MY GOD SOMEBODY PLEASE GRAB HOLD OF ME AND MY ENERGY AND CHANNEL ME INTO MODERATION OR INTO SOMETHING GOOD I HAVE TOO MUCH PASSION FLOWING AROUND GOING IN ALL DIRECTIONS TACTLESSLY FORCING MYSELF UPON THE FASCINATED AND MAKING LOVE TO THE MOMENT KNOWING TOO MUCH THE POWER OF THE HERE AND NOW AND THAT THE HERE AND NOW IS ALL WE/I HAVE AND I LOVE IT DEARLY TOO MUCH TOO MUCH TOO FAST TOO FAST I NEED TO LEARN TO BALANCE MYSELF...

or else, have someone here to balance me.