Saturday, August 14, 2004

Looking at the vastness and complexities of this world, right down to my fingertips, it's no wonder that we've got an awesome God.
Download and check out DMB's 'Don't drink the water'

Get the lyrics and see what it means.

Upon these poor souls, I'll build heaven and call it home

Friday, August 13, 2004


Perhaps if I were less self-absorbed and inward focusing, I would be happier and a hell lot more useful.

[Edited at 12.50pm

I wanna live with the notion that I don't need anyone else but me.
Don't drink the water ~ Dave Matthew's Band]

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

See the art in me


So in the pregnancy of it all, I find myself utterly lost. That in seeing, and in conceiving, there is really nothing for me to show for. I am hindged in rust, and flacid in lack-of-practice. It seems that everything I have ever learned in the past only serves to prove that I am too untrained, too little, too lacking. I fear that when it comes to the real test, I will prove untrue, and be swept away as useless, stupid and worthless.


And then remind me over and over again that it is in my weakness that He is strong and that the greater my weakness the stronger the grace. The beauty completed not in my being but in His and that in every step, if taken in Him, He makes perfect. The line between a sin and a virtue is very thin. They not only being polar, or mirror opposites, but in fact being twins.

"Good and Evil have the same face"
Paulo Coelho :: The Devil and Miss Prym.

The difference between a sin and virtue, is in the source.
God or me?


To learn to trust, to learn total surrender, the denial of self, the sacrifice of being, the running of the good race, the constant quest for His highest, the constant motivation to move out of myself, to lose myself and find it again in Him.

That would be.

It's all pretty on paper.
Now give it blood and flesh.
Let the war begin.
And all that Jazz

To have lots of fun, to be comfortable, and to meet old friends. That seems to be the great commission for every poor sod that's sent over seas to study. His mantra upon touching home soil.

I must be different.
Very different.

"You'll be back soon" was a lie.
I never came back.
Last August, Hannah effectively took off on a sunny Saturday morning,
And never came back.

She never will.
And a small part of her is getting very used to that.

Monday, August 09, 2004

So a country tells its people to wear red to celebrate its anniversary.
I wouldn't put it beneath them to start issuing red clothing to every citizen.
How quaint. Just like Russia.

Sunday, August 08, 2004

I had an awful day. So I collaspe into myself.
More and more I am starting to believe that Man is shaped by his circumstances. Indeed a lot more then he'd like to admit.

So even who you are isn't that big a deal. It's not like you choose to be.
Get over it.