So I will probably get my full student loan, and I found out that my professor was in Asia this whole time. Life is suddenly perfect again, minus the lack of grant money.

How is it that I am SO susceptible to external occurrences? Must change.

~Do you think I'm crazy? 

~Not more then usual. 

Does this mean that I am loved and accepted, and that you can handle this?

I know it's silly to get stressed up over the small things, to obsess over that little flint of gravel you meet on the journey instead of focusing on the road itself. Just that, these pieces get stuck in my shoe.

I need funding for this next semester in Singapore. This Lee Foundation award thing isn't pulling through. I can't apply for Go Global awards as I want to do this self-directed course with UBC.

And on that note, I need ITG to be my supervisor for this self-directed course I need in order to do the courses I want to do here, and to do French. He's not responding to my emails.

And finally, when you're so far away, how do I sense that this is worth as much as I had anticipated? I feel like ducking under the covers of a horoscope book and tearing it all up for fear of the inevitable failure that this could all be.

I'm guessing this is what my mother meant by me relying too much on myself and not on God (huh?). That's probably true but as always, I've learnt to peel off the truth from words and I've come to the conclusion that -- 

NWT: Alcohol is like sex butter porn bacon and revenge - there is no such thing as enough.

HLJY: Revenge. You definitely can have enough of revenge.

NWT: That means you have not had your revenge yet.

"And I tell you, the other colleagues who did not have to go to that Women's Empowerment Workshop had to go to a how-to-give-handjobs workshop. So much more practical. And the rest were taught how to draw their vulvas."

~ Overheard at Book Cafe

Also, beautiful proved to me that I was dumber then a cell phone made by a finnish guy. I do wish I could spell. 

quiet.

Why can't I care???