Saturday, October 15, 2005

I finally feel like I'm at a place when I can start to give. The past 20 odds years have been a time of feeding, absorbing and learning. Not that that has, or should change, but I suddenly find myself in a position to feed to teach and to allow another to soak up what I have to offer. It isn't much but by the grace of God, it will be life-giving. I'm getting pretty stoked about this concept of spiritual multiplication.

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In other news...

Shu and I had a hard-core wrestling match with Tony today. N'sync blasting like nobody's business, furniture pressed against the walls for fear of slipping into the line of fire, and cushions, bodies and breath flying around the room as shu and I fight(and succeed) to slam Tony to the ground.

He totally let us win.
I finally feel like I'm at a place when I can start to give. The past 20 odds years have been a time of feeding, absorbing and learning. Not that that has, or should change, but I suddenly find myself in a position to feed to teach and to allow another to soak up what I have to offer. It isn't much but by the grace of God, it will be life-giving. I'm getting pretty stoked about this concept of spiritual multiplication.

----------------

In other news...

Shu and I had a hard-core wrestling match with Tony today. N'sync blasting like nobody's business, furniture pressed against the walls for fear of slipping into the line of fire, and cushions, bodies and breath flying around the room as shu and I fight(and succeed) to slam Tony to the ground.

He totally let us win.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Lower your wings

Stop the noises, stop the hurry, and just learn to drink from the presence of God. Engage in discipline, hardship and truth. Whoever said that life was meant to be easy?

I had a wonderful conversation with Kathleen Blacklock today, she never fails to inspire me. And today I find myself with a profound desire and willingness to submissive to community (NOT organized religion). So instead of intellectualizating and systametizing my way out of authoratative discipline, I seek to die to myself.

God can handle your failures.
~ Kath.

The day isn't over yet.

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I think, I can be beautiful again.
Almost.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Burn

I do not have enough faith to be the smallest, but I want to have enough faith to be the least. I am obsessed with getting things superficially right, to look good and to behave correctly. As opposed to being true.

I think God is dragging me into yet another phase in my life. So this summer I leave the whole existential liberal way-off-left-field in hopes of finding proper balance in my life. What does it mean to understand the nature of God and his fulfilment of the law instead of simply attempting to live a harsh legalistic life, bereft of the goodness of God?

I'm starting to return to the commandents of God and to the tradditions of the Chruch. Chrisitian culture must be understood for what it is: A Culture. Not the route to salvation, or of any consequence really, but rather the way in which the Gospel has made itself known to this WASPish generation.

But Truth. Now Truth transcends all culture, all time, all paradigm and is simply... Jesus. So we've got Truth and Tradition. And I think I can start to nestle back safely into life with both doing what they do, and being what they are.

And with me, being. But as it seems, the Holy Spirit is calling me to a deeper walk. But this time the question isn't just that of "be", but also "be with". Things are solidifying and truths are gradually being etched in.

To stand in the gap between the living and the dead, to take on the historical and figurative role of the 'High Priest', atoning for the sins of a shifting, unstable world, to an everlasting, unchanging God. Here, God never changed his nature for anyone.

The Calling of the church isn't to make God sensible to the World, but to transform the world to God.

There.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Indeed as Curtis says, we all need to fall in love. And I have many wonderful people in my life who... are wonderful.

Now I just need to fall in love, and love.
No holds bars.

I've been eating off paper plates for too long.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Oh well

I am not the center of the universe and sheer will power will not, on it's own, accomplish anything or alter reality.

?? ? ?? ? ?.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

"If asking that they be men after God's own heart is too much, we're in big trouble..."
~ Sue to me. On prospective partners.

Some, I feel sorry for their girlfriends.
Others, their beauty is their weakness.