Saturday, November 01, 2003

God's always teaching me that there's more to the world then myself.
That I have to share.
That I cannot give so selfishly, selectively.
That I do not own what I have.
That I am not self-made

That it's all about you Jesus.

It's one hell of a struggle.

Shout it out
But for the record darlings. I'm a-okay.
Never been happier or more in tune.
Just... slap me once in a while, when pride gets in the way

There's an empty place inside that is hurting me
A place that keeps my heart out on its own
A disconnected function of my wretchedness
That keeps me so hard pressed
It's a place where words are spoken you
will never hear
A broken bridge of lines that just won't come
An empty lung that won't give the wind
to speak at me
How far can it be from home

Why you gotta be so mean to me
Why you gotta drag me down just to make me see
You know I don't listen good and I'm always in need
So why you gotta be so mean to me

Do you think that it got up and left
for good this time
A crowd of faceless strangers moving on
A feeling that you left it all behind you now
That it doesn't hurt somehow
To know

Mean to me ~ Tonic

Been there, done that... but ashamedly I don't harbour the patience to tolerate that in others. The selfish uppity side of me expects instant understanding and comprehension. I forget I guess that some things come wiht experience. I took 2 years God dammit.

I was a major pain in the rear end.
Now tables turned, may I display the patience and love that was displayed to me 2 year ago.

I will be mean, I will drag you down in hopes that you'll listen good and drop the neediness.

the greatest act of love I've done for you is to tell you all this.
Me to "the generalized other." (yes my imagination is back, but with a new name thanks to Mead.)

So open up the book that you keep deep inside
Let the pages yellow in the sun
Show them that you're not afraid to let them see
How far you can be From home

Mean to me~ Tonic

if you ever want to walk anywhere, get on your feet first, no matter how painful.

Friday, October 31, 2003

Dum di dum di dum.
Who am I?

Thursday, October 30, 2003

Passion: It's all about the people.

Prayer: That I would touch the expression, the lion and the leaves in an irreversible way.

Shaken. I have just left Sociology 100 after a video screening.

Title: Stopping Traffik: The war against the war on drugs.

I realise that for all the open-mindedness that I have prided myself in being, I am essentially ethnocentric. I cannot seem to understand that MY way of doing things is NOT the right way.

The video presented an elite section of society who, surprise surprise, is trying to reduce the harm caused by drugs as well as the harm caused by the war on drugs. They do so by legalizing it, shifting focus from it being a 'crime' to it being a 'medical condition'. The fact that this group comprises of wealthy businessmen and prominent individuals from the police force make it a formidable influence to be reckoned with.

So I sat there, watching with horror as they interviewed a drug addict who is now being prescribed heroine on a daily basis. It keeps him off the streets, he no longer faces arrest, he no long steals he practically lives a normal healthy life.

"I used to smoke cannibis, nicotine... kids stuff, but there was always this void within me, something missing and heroine has filled that. I have more confidence, more life and it gives me an up and go... "

Horrified. And the accuser in me states "You need God you Dumbass. I don't see why society has to conform to YOUR bad habits when you refused to abide by its standards."

Coming from a country that hangs you for possessing 15g of heroine, I sat there pretty much self-righteous thinking "I'm in favour of hanging them. get them off the streets, forget about wasting the countries money in reforms and prisons. "

This was all going well until... "We do not wage war against our people. That's what they are, our people."

So what's this all about? Love the sinner in his sin.
It all boils down to love.

I need that.

a hell lot of that.

What's that again?

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Ripped off my lecture notes for Arts One

I am going crazy. I am so excited and awed by life. Everything I gain, learn, see and understand heightens or confirms my understanding of humanity. It never contradicts me.

it takes God's love and grace to restore the true meaning of academia.

what distinguishes a christian from non-christians is LOVE.

It's always about the people.
There is nothing without love. nothing

It's art really to sit down in any class and see the beauty life and how it all boils down to God perfectly.
Though the application is a lot harder then expected, I don't intend to run on human zeal alone.

Crush me.

It's crazy I'm thinking
Just as long as you're around
And here I'll be dancing on the ground
Am I right side up or upside down
To each other we'll be facing
By love we'll beat back the pain we've found
You know
I mean to tell you all the things I've been thinking deep inside
My friend
With each moment the more I love you
Crush me
Come on
So much you have given love
That I would give you back again and again
Meaning I'll hold you
And please let me always
Tickle me pinky

I don't know where to start. Maybe by saying that I had a fantastic day yesterday is a good start.

So we start off at 7 am, getting ready for church ~ At least I did, Shu forgot all about Daylight savings and came running down at 6.56 proclaiming that it was 8.
ah well, where would we be without a sense of humour?

So we bus to church

at church

Kelvin and Daniel, expounding with Godly love.

How's that for starters? still thanking God for this church and more importantly, for His presence in their lives.


Shopping with Thi and Adrian was preeety eventful, hell I think being in the same room as the two of them is tantamout to an adventure.

Taking a slight snooze...

Only Adrian

Anticipation of Metrotown

There they go just a-walking down the streets...

Singing do wa didididi dum didi do...

Snapping their fingers and shuffling to the beat.

Singing do wa didididi dum didi do...

Checkout Superstore:

Adrian devouring a choco bar BEFORE paying for it.

Dinner at RR


It's the malaysian style!

Adrian being himself... you don't want to know the story morning glory...

Back home, Thi and Adrian get into a fight, being male... Adrian lands on my jumbo box of feminine paper and starts flinging a liner or two and Thiyachai.

Fairview anyone?

What can I say?
So blessed, I can't believe it.

Sunday, October 26, 2003

Mmmmmmm you have no idea, how good finishing an essay feels. especially when you've been at it the whole day.

Better then chocolate...