When you wakeup! To a happy sound!!
I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it
You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was
You've already won me over in spite of me
Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault
Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service
You've already won me over in spite of me
Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault
You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience
You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long
I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now
You've already won me over in spite of me
Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault
~Alanis
Saturday, September 21, 2002
Climbing up a hill is never easy, but still exhillerating...
Beautiful
I love you so much, and i love seeing you grow. You never fail to surprise me you know, with a sudden burst of generosity, acceptance, humility and insight. You'll get the best, whatever God wants for you...
We're going upwards!!
I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five
I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette
What it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign
I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby
What it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
What it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab...
~Alanis
Beautiful
I love you so much, and i love seeing you grow. You never fail to surprise me you know, with a sudden burst of generosity, acceptance, humility and insight. You'll get the best, whatever God wants for you...
We're going upwards!!
I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five
I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette
What it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign
I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby
What it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
What it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab...
~Alanis
Thursday, September 19, 2002
Funny state, unresolved, imcomplete. Half done and twisted.
It's a bitch to talk, and a struggle to speak... say anything at all, or nothing.
Limbo and grey.
so many little idiot spaces,
sitting around, blinking.blankly.
Tied:head-lips-limb-groin... and Dancing.painfully to
Music and time, alcohol and ice...spleen and guts, vomit and sweat, blood and phlegm.
Half done and twisted.
"Maybe there's a God above
And all I ever learned from love
was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
Its not a cry you can hear at night
Its not somebody who's seen the light
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah"
-Hallelujah~Leonard Cohen-
It's a bitch to talk, and a struggle to speak... say anything at all, or nothing.
Limbo and grey.
so many little idiot spaces,
sitting around, blinking.blankly.
Tied:head-lips-limb-groin... and Dancing.painfully to
Music and time, alcohol and ice...spleen and guts, vomit and sweat, blood and phlegm.
Half done and twisted.
"Maybe there's a God above
And all I ever learned from love
was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
Its not a cry you can hear at night
Its not somebody who's seen the light
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah"
-Hallelujah~Leonard Cohen-
seriously, i tink hannah knows me better. she can sense my moods, she can cheer me up, she can talk it out of me, she can read my mind, she can complete my sentences.
Maybe I've been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
love is not a victory march
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah
-Hallelujah~Leonard Cohen-
Maybe I've been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
love is not a victory march
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah
-Hallelujah~Leonard Cohen-
Wednesday, September 18, 2002
Tuesday, September 17, 2002
"There are fragments of pain that we all hold within us, unable to let go of/accept/embrace. There are times of depression when we sit there and feel unloved and forsaken. There are tears that fall out of tremendous self-pity in times when we think no one gives a damn...
" the pain and grief in our hearts at this moment will serve to bring us closer to God. Our weakness is a reminder that we are not almighty beings, self-made women or isolated creatures.. Thanks Beautiful
Andrea, I'll be praying for you... there's really nothing i can say. I'm sorry.
It's a horrible dichotomy we live in. Always being blinded to one side of our lives at a time of that which is glaring in our faces... when we realise our state we cry either in pain or in "broken hallelujahs"
So, I got me some Horses,
to ride on,
to ride on.
They say that your demons,
can't go there.
So, I got me some horses,
to ride on,
to ride on,
as long as your army
keeps perfectly still.
Any maybe, I'll find me a sailor
a tailor
and maybe, together,
we'll make mother well.
So, I got me some Horses,
to ride on,
to ride on,
as long as your army,
keeps perfectly still.
You showed me the meadow
and Milkwood
and Silkwood.
And you would if I would
but you never would,
so I cansed down your posies.
your pansies in my hosies
then opened my hands
and they were empty then.
Off with Superfly,
sniffing a Sharpie pen,
honey, it's Bill and Ben.
Off with Superfly,
counting your bees.
Oh, me, honey, life
one two three.
The camera is rolling.
It's easy like
one
two
three.
And if there is a way to find you,
I will find you.
but will you find me if Neil
makes me a tree, an afro, a pharaoh.
I can't go.
You said so.
and threads that are golden
don't break easily.
So, I got me some Horses
to ride on,
to ride on,
they say that your demons
can't go there,
So, I got me some Horses,
to ride on,
to ride on,
as long as your army,
keeps perfectly still,
keeps perfectly still,
keeps perfectly still
~ Tori Amos
" the pain and grief in our hearts at this moment will serve to bring us closer to God. Our weakness is a reminder that we are not almighty beings, self-made women or isolated creatures.. Thanks Beautiful
Andrea, I'll be praying for you... there's really nothing i can say. I'm sorry.
It's a horrible dichotomy we live in. Always being blinded to one side of our lives at a time of that which is glaring in our faces... when we realise our state we cry either in pain or in "broken hallelujahs"
So, I got me some Horses,
to ride on,
to ride on.
They say that your demons,
can't go there.
So, I got me some horses,
to ride on,
to ride on,
as long as your army
keeps perfectly still.
Any maybe, I'll find me a sailor
a tailor
and maybe, together,
we'll make mother well.
So, I got me some Horses,
to ride on,
to ride on,
as long as your army,
keeps perfectly still.
You showed me the meadow
and Milkwood
and Silkwood.
And you would if I would
but you never would,
so I cansed down your posies.
your pansies in my hosies
then opened my hands
and they were empty then.
Off with Superfly,
sniffing a Sharpie pen,
honey, it's Bill and Ben.
Off with Superfly,
counting your bees.
Oh, me, honey, life
one two three.
The camera is rolling.
It's easy like
one
two
three.
And if there is a way to find you,
I will find you.
but will you find me if Neil
makes me a tree, an afro, a pharaoh.
I can't go.
You said so.
and threads that are golden
don't break easily.
So, I got me some Horses
to ride on,
to ride on,
they say that your demons
can't go there,
So, I got me some Horses,
to ride on,
to ride on,
as long as your army,
keeps perfectly still,
keeps perfectly still,
keeps perfectly still
~ Tori Amos
Monday, September 16, 2002
Really bad day somehow... it was all the trival things that seemed to weigh down so heavily.
1) Got yelled at and pushed around by Larry Choi i.e. Prince of the Undignified, SuperStutterer, and Mr. "I-love-giving-the-impression-that-I-never-had-a-date-in-my-life"
2) Math math math... Mundane as it is it is hell important to my self-esteem and self-assurance...
3) GP GP GP... Probably as weighted as the above.
4)
Really Good day somehow... it was all the trival things that seemed to lift me up.
1) Lit Lit Lit... did better then ever, praise god.
2) Dennis. thank you for always being there when i msg... and for having the wisdom to know when and how to reply... you always cheer me up. :)
3) "Hope your day has been bearable. Hang in there dearie *hug* the discomfort is (unfathomably) temporable. You are in my prayers" ... I believe in Angels. (In fact I've met a couple, they were sisters. Say hi to Anna for me k?)
4) The wonderful conversations with my friends. The jokes and riddles, philosophies, and reassurances. Yes, i do need you.
See? It balances out. I've survivied one more school day.
"Not dwelling on our pain for a moment more simply because we know it's all in the mind - is this escapism? Or is this being practical?"
Always felt we should go with what's best for us, what will speed up the healing process holistically... It needs a damned delicate
balance.
No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I am
Don't think that I can take another empty moment
Don't think that I can fake another
hollow smile
It's not enough just to be sorry.
Don't think that I could take another talk about it
Just like me you got needs
And they're only a whisper away
And we softly surrender
To these lives that we've tendered away
No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And they'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I am
Don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over
Don't wanna be somewhere where I just don't belong
Where it's not enough just be sorry
Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in
Tried to be more than me
And I gave 'til it all went away
And we've only surrendered
To the worst part of these winters we've made
I am all that I'll ever be
When you - lay your hands
Over me
but don't go weak on me now
I know that it's weak
But God help me I need this
I will not sleep in this bed of lies
-Bed of Lies~MB20-
1) Got yelled at and pushed around by Larry Choi i.e. Prince of the Undignified, SuperStutterer, and Mr. "I-love-giving-the-impression-that-I-never-had-a-date-in-my-life"
2) Math math math... Mundane as it is it is hell important to my self-esteem and self-assurance...
3) GP GP GP... Probably as weighted as the above.
4)
Really Good day somehow... it was all the trival things that seemed to lift me up.
1) Lit Lit Lit... did better then ever, praise god.
2) Dennis. thank you for always being there when i msg... and for having the wisdom to know when and how to reply... you always cheer me up. :)
3) "Hope your day has been bearable. Hang in there dearie *hug* the discomfort is (unfathomably) temporable. You are in my prayers" ... I believe in Angels. (In fact I've met a couple, they were sisters. Say hi to Anna for me k?)
4) The wonderful conversations with my friends. The jokes and riddles, philosophies, and reassurances. Yes, i do need you.
See? It balances out. I've survivied one more school day.
"Not dwelling on our pain for a moment more simply because we know it's all in the mind - is this escapism? Or is this being practical?"
Always felt we should go with what's best for us, what will speed up the healing process holistically... It needs a damned delicate
balance.
No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I am
Don't think that I can take another empty moment
Don't think that I can fake another
hollow smile
It's not enough just to be sorry.
Don't think that I could take another talk about it
Just like me you got needs
And they're only a whisper away
And we softly surrender
To these lives that we've tendered away
No I would not sleep in this bed of lies
So toss me out and turn in
And they'll be no rest for these tired eyes
I'm marking it down to learning
I am
Don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over
Don't wanna be somewhere where I just don't belong
Where it's not enough just be sorry
Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in
Tried to be more than me
And I gave 'til it all went away
And we've only surrendered
To the worst part of these winters we've made
I am all that I'll ever be
When you - lay your hands
Over me
but don't go weak on me now
I know that it's weak
But God help me I need this
I will not sleep in this bed of lies
-Bed of Lies~MB20-
Sunday, September 15, 2002
It was interesting watching people at City hall today while i was waiting for my train. We as beings are such dumpy, unglamourous doddering creatures... it was almost hilarious... but somehow inspite of all this, there was this glow that penetrated through all that. As if we were new borns clumsily trying to get to the other end of the play ground... everything seemed urgent, but somehow unimportant and mundane. As if we're constantly learning aware of it or not...
"That's why, Soulitary, we should stop thinking so much. Life is ours to live.
Not dwelling on our pain for a moment more simply because we know it's all in the mind - is this escapism? Or is this being practical? Are we going to sit around analysing the different sides to a coin? Are we going to let life's dichotomies kill the youthful passion that was?
She don't want education
She got nothing to say
She got no imagination
So they say why does she feel this way?" ~Suede ... from a beautiful friend. Hope you don't mind me putting this here love but it was indeed beautiful coming from you.. perhaps we'll never know yes?
ABOVE ALL ELSE, LOVE
"Who was it I heard recently, who said that the church would be a wonderful place to be in, minus the people? He was quite right"... Well pastor wee... it was Dennis...
"The church is to be a community where we LEARN to love one another just as just as he loves us" Learn not have.
"What we need to do is consider what God has done for us unconditionally" It is still easier siad then done
.... Just a thought.. extention form coffee... being "human" may just be dictated by what society deems best for itself, emtionally and intellectually and morally... Maybe the best way to be "Human" is to just be... even if it means to be inhuman in the eyes of others.
"That's why, Soulitary, we should stop thinking so much. Life is ours to live.
Not dwelling on our pain for a moment more simply because we know it's all in the mind - is this escapism? Or is this being practical? Are we going to sit around analysing the different sides to a coin? Are we going to let life's dichotomies kill the youthful passion that was?
She don't want education
She got nothing to say
She got no imagination
So they say why does she feel this way?" ~Suede ... from a beautiful friend. Hope you don't mind me putting this here love but it was indeed beautiful coming from you.. perhaps we'll never know yes?
ABOVE ALL ELSE, LOVE
"Who was it I heard recently, who said that the church would be a wonderful place to be in, minus the people? He was quite right"... Well pastor wee... it was Dennis...
"The church is to be a community where we LEARN to love one another just as just as he loves us" Learn not have.
"What we need to do is consider what God has done for us unconditionally" It is still easier siad then done
.... Just a thought.. extention form coffee... being "human" may just be dictated by what society deems best for itself, emtionally and intellectually and morally... Maybe the best way to be "Human" is to just be... even if it means to be inhuman in the eyes of others.
