Forgive me, but I assumed you'd be here.

The nights aren't easy.

What I miss most is being able to tell you everything. About how awful my day went, and about how incompetent I feel.  You walked with me into a new phase of life and I had hoped that you would always be there with your vast pool of experience, patience, honesty and common sense.  But now when things don't go as well, I find myself having to draw deep slow breaths, and to balance it all from the inside.  I guess this is a good thing because at some point, I'll have to figure things out for myself.  I just don't see a point of having to do it alone.  It would be nice to be able to celebrate the little victories with you.  Oh well.

Every time I come marginally close to believing that I've almost made it, or that I've almost gotten a grasp on things, something flips around and kicks me in the knees. It's not something that one gets used to either. Sweet Jesus help me.

There is a difference between being sad and being weak.  They generally come together, which is why I really don't need more crap right now.

Maybe this is all part of a lengthy episode that must finally come to an end.  Maybe this wasn't a new beginning, but a final closure.