Friday, September 17, 2004

Strange, I thought I knew you well.

The 4 latent months away during the summer was more potent then I thought it was. Relationships are more organic then I can comprehend them to be. So the power shifts, secrets remain or are revealed, like a glowing dance, very far away. Dimensions shift and I find myself caught within them, in a very passive manner.

I sometimes couldn't care less.

Maybe it's not for me. I could never quite understand anyway. I realise that the more i understand humanly, the less i really do understand. It seems that all the knowledge i gain only serves to point to the ever-growing void of my ignorance. I should just stop trying.

Ooo. Just breathe.

Thought I had read a change in your eyes
Strange ~ Tori amos

Thursday, September 16, 2004

I have to be stricter with myself. If my bedtime's 11 pm, my bedtime's 11 pm.

Dang. It's 11.17.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

2 step

Am I consistant in who I am?
Be.

Let them love you, in your most unattractive and unbecoming.
Do.

Monday, September 13, 2004

Maybe just a little bit crazy

"i feel like a specimen in a petri dish waiting to be understood"
~Gladys

I've forgotten what it's like to have normal relationships, to be vulnerable. In my never-ending upward journey to a greater understanding of myself, toward greater understanding of people and individuals...

... I had ceased to be human.

Please be patient with me, while God rebuilds this mess I've made.