I had the most wonderful night.
Good Jap food, Good friends Good fun.

Mmmmmm, i could get used to this.

Now it's back to giggling with the rest.

And tomorrow, it's movie night!

Somehow, this makes solitude more beautiful.

Shower Sentiments

I think God has put these people in my life to teach me to love.
Not by myself, but by His power.

I got a new cell phone. I'm contactable again.

I broke my umbrella. I feel horrible.

I don't know why I get so miffed by little things.

Don't worry

Thank you parents. But I can't help it.

Friends come and go.
Built on necessity.
No hard feelings.
A short friendship doesn't mean it hasn't served it's purpose.
The everlasting friend has it all in control.

It's just that... it still hurts every now and then,
when I think about all of you.

[ Sun Jan 12, 06:01:49 AM | Hannah Lim | edit ]

Broken trinity
It's been too long.
I've been too far.
I'm not sure if I know what to do anymore...

But hold on to the hope in my heart that 4 years cannot die so easily though fingers contiunally grapple with me, and a voice saying... you never were

i looked out of the window, and i saw the sky. the clouds right now are dark grey, and there's a slight breeze moving the leaves of the trees outside, and i thought this is God, this is His creation, this is what He's done. and i know it's absurd, but i began thinking (of all things) about photosynthesis and respiration and all that (i'm glad i take bio), and i nearly had to catch my breath, thinking about how minutely designed everything on earth is, how everything works together so perfectly. this is God.

it's funny, isn't it, how God works. how He uses the most mundane things to bring you back to Him. it doesn't take a great worship, it doesn't take a church camp. it takes God.


~michelle's blog.

That's my 15 year old cousin.
May God use her mightily.

When Josh was around, you had an identity.

Yes.
And now he's on the plane, headed for Singapore.
Home.

Now what?



... I'm trying.
Thank you James.

Regeneration

"Once i get home, my life as a student will resume."
Even I wasn't aware of the power of it all, though I did have a slight inkling when I found myself in a state of panic.
Panicking about tonight. How the hell was I going to board the bus knowing that I'm leaving home on the pavement, waving, well-wishing?

These two days meant too much, the dynamics of the situation making it almost... perfect.
But only because previously I had been pretty much dead.

These two days go beyond, I'm not going to bother trying to explain.

....too afriad to measure his loss...

Bitch

I hate retrospect sometimes. It brings out the hidden demons in me that seem to dance tauntingly in my face.
And when they seep back, I can't do anything about it.

Please take from me my life...

And it's all going fine.
Studying.
Friends.
Halo.
Sports.
Dance.
Art.
I'm doing what I like, and I like it.
So it's pretty hard not to say that life's going perfectly fine.
That I'm settling in and adjusting as I should.
I am acutally.
A bit slower then I'm actually comfy with but I'm standing on my two feet.

When I don't have the strength...

And today was...

From the Airport to Burrard. I don't know what to make of it all.
In just one day, I lose my footing on everything that I built.
Present strength melting away into plup as we made our way from the Old Spaghetti Factory down to the Waterfront.
I was home again.
And I let everything sink back into Singapore.
I turned around and ran backwards into a very obvious blank wall that I would momentarily remove with Joshua's calling card.
and it knocked the wind out of my lungs.
I was home again
walking with an old friend.
Talking.
Being aware and idle, sharing thoughts, being tangibly there.
Being open and unbelieveable unrestriant.
Honest.
Peaceful.
Contented.
Gentle.
Graceful.
There.
That's all it took really. You, a mature, loving, wonderful friend, being there.

To give it away to you, Jesus...

In so many ways...
"Hannah I think you're ready to serve God in ministry..."
And on the bus home I prayed that I would not be deaf to His calling, in whatever way they come.

And I shamefully see that I am not as self-aware as I intended to be.
That I am ultimately unconciously subjective in my attempt to be objective.

~Third day

I was so desperate today, I wanted time to freeze right at the Waterfront.
I wasn't sure if I could drag up that shield again after I let it down over spaghetti.
It just gets too heavy sometimes.
I want to go home.
But I think I'll just have to build another one and, despite sitting here after plunging into utter lonliness, it was good.
It showed me again what I had to build and the extent of it's beauty.
It gave me that little nudge and pinch.
But above all, it reminded me of how much I love you.
irreplacable you.
All.