I can't tell if it's paranoia, or if it's just plain stupidness...

I feel so unloved sometimes, so insignificant, unimportant, despensible... small.

Perhaps I bring it upon myself, my elitism, hypocracy, or aloofness.

Or maybe it's my fear of trusting, that slowly decomposes into lethargy with the deadly stink of inertia.

I wonder why I bother knowing that it probably isn't worth anything if it leads to this...

I'm human too yah?
[resolutely hits the ignore user button]

17 - 23 March 2003

Mon 17/3
14:00-19:00 VJC
18:00-19:00 Meet dennis & mail everything

Tue 18/3
11:00-12:00 Get Syllabus from AB
14:00-15:00 GET PIN FROM NUS
19:00-23:00 CG dinner

Wed 19/3
12:00-13:00 Plan CG
17:15-17:45 dental
20:00-22:00 Choir

Thu 20/3

Breathe

Fri 21/3
15:30-16:30 Auditon for story theatre
19:00-23:00 CG

Sat 22/3
10:30-12:30 Missions meeting
14:00-16:00 Forum on Singaporean Identity
20:00-23:00 Witness Rehearsal

Sun 23/3
13:00-15:00 Dance Prac
19:00-20:00 Mummy's uncle

I grit my teeth and pull my hair
And hope to see the morning's glare
At 6 am on a brand new day
The monday's clone a week away
To know that I've survived this week
And to feel the joy of painless sleep.

This is my Blood

I know you won't believe me, but i am grateful.
I know I don't seem to show it but i do love you.
I know I don't seem to try, or give a damn or want to anyway...
... I'm just too tired.

Poured out...

All over my jeans...
Really, I try too much.

...for you

At least I'm not guilty of the sin of blah blah blah blah... I didn't really catch what he said anyway.



You said I took the name in vain,
I didn;t really know that name,
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light in every word
It doesn't matter which you heard...
The holy or the broken Hallelujah.