Saturday, January 10, 2009

Sometimes, like today, I get the feeling that everything I had ever known or thought about, was pointing to this one moment. It is as if life were gathering the folds of her skirt into a single bunch in the fist of her elegant hand. That's where I'm at right now.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Here it is. All of it. It now makes sense

"you have come to discover what you want"
- what i want is not to want what isn't mine
"But I am Desire"

"She's on this idea of women now. And, when I think being around all these women who have all these different kind of perceptions of each other. And you could say, some of them are intimidated by each other and some of them are envious and some of them really kind of like the other one but are afraid of being rejected so they don't know how to approach them. And there's all that going on. So busy, like bees. And uh, she makes her way into the warmth of Florida. She takes her time. She's driving now, she's on her own. And she's thinking about women, and women and women's relationships with each other and...what it brings up. And so, she sort of um, goes to the land for this one. This one place that's, where alot of people come to soak in, to feel sensual and warm and healed and delicious. So she's in Florida, and goes to another land where people go to feel delicious. Another paradise. And she finds that there's room enough for both of them, that they're both very different. And desire is very much a part of all this. And at the end of the day, Desire will do what she does best, which is make you desire that which is not yours. She moves on to away, and then comes back to Florida. Not feeling like she needs to betray one or the other. That she can value both of them, that there's room enough for both of them. I think there's healing all along the way in different parts of this. But that's really for the reader, and the listener to sense, because it's in the music alot of that. Those are clues that it takes you, I think, to our real feelings. The music is always the place where the clues are."
-- Scarlet Stories CD

You caught me lingering in another girl's paradise.
he way she paints the world, I want that in my life.

Does it all come down to:
the thing one girl fears in the night,
is another girl's paradise

Except, I am both.
I don't know if I really am concerned with understanding and loving, as much as I am concerned with giving the right answer.

What a pity. Such a beautiful life, and no balls to live it.

Monday, January 05, 2009

If I could...

I want to hold the hand inside you
I want to take a breath that's true
I look to you and I see nothing
I look to you to see the truth
You live your life
You go in shadows
You'll come apart and you'll go black
Some kind of night into your darkness
Colors your eyes with whats not there.
A stranger's light comes on slowly
A stranger's heart without a home
You put your hands into your head
And then smiles cover your heart

[Fade into you :: Mazzy Star]

Sunlight filters through the grey haze that we try to call sky. Melting the beauty of silent white peace into... well something I don't quite know because I haven't left the house yet. But I should. I'm back and I've got a life to live - to the full.

Lord, this year is in your hands, teach me great and unsearchable things, teach me truth. I will not shy away from anything handed to me, but grant me the wisdom to approach, to love and to contain.