I hope that this serves to remind me, one day, when I am in the concrete jungle of wealth and slave to my desires. That I will look back to a time when I really believed in living for lives beyond mine and for reasons beyond self-gratification. And then I will pack up my bags, leave all this behind and go to where I'm called.

Then I will turn around, and from the jungle in Laos, look you back in the eye, hold out my hand and demand justice.

A society that cannot respect another culture is hardly deserving of respect itself.

It is a journey, to reconcile my identity with a particular political past. How do I say that I belong to all this, when I can only begin to see its face through squinty glares and seething slits?

Hunger only for a taste of justice
Hunger only for a world of truth.
~ Tracy Chapman

I think, in this day of democracy and capitalism, there is more state in church then there is church in state.

Not that they should be merged, or completely severed in our personal lives. But we need to be very very clear of who we are, and where the convictions of our communities lie, our priorities and the signals we send, the roles that we play and the persons that we ultimately are.

I also need to work on articulating my convictions. In word and deed.
First off, are these really convictions?

What would it look like, to completely stop living for myself?

I am so glad to be living with like-minded people. People with whom I can connect with, share, laugh, love and be safe with.

Lyn and Joy, you guys rock.

Here is where God blesses.

You think he's alive but the flies make you wonder...

It suddenly hit me today that there is no definitive authority in understanding life. To be thought to be ridiculous isn't an indication that change is necessary, or inevitable, or that it will happen toward the sunlight of sanity. Which is why, I have found that I am simply incapable of expressing disagreement, perhaps? I leave the expression of my thoughts hanging, to be filled in as life rushes through. I volley ideas and words, none indicating a permanent stance, but rather another footstep in the journey. Towards? Somewhere good. But it isn't here.

To be conclusive, is to fall short of reality.
If convenience is the order of today,
I choose conviction.

I am so afriad that one day, North America will become 'normal' to me. And that the cutesy little island will become exotic and foreign.

I know that when that day comes, I would have lost a little piece of myself.
The piece that stops the days from getting dark.

I don't want this place to become my home.

I am learning that my invisibility doesn't really have much to do with my height, but rather, the colour of my aura.

I am not going to beat myself up for the vision that rises before my eyes, but only force myself to step through it with grace.

Remember not to confuse the symptoms with the root of the disease. Western medicine has left us bereft of meaning in the notion of 'health'.

I don't listen to the voices that seem to speak to a persona that doesn't exist, when their eyes are glancing at me. When my name isn't safe in your mouth, your words will sound like they are miles away, alien and inconsequential.

I'm not running dry.

In the morning in the winter shade....
I thought I saw you breathing.

You were the sweetest thing that happened to me last summer. Thank you for taking me in, making me family, and completing the precious that I had. For showing me who they were by showing who you are.

Oh the glory that the Lord has made
And the complications when I see his face
In the morning in the window

You have demonstrated that God is good. And I'm sorry I won't see you next summer.

Oh the glory when he took our place
And he took my shoulders and he shook my face
And he takes and he takes and he takes

Casimir Pulaski Day ~ Sufjan Stevens

Take me back to a time when I actually cared.
I need some engaging to be done to me

I need to be centered, and to not lose myself to goals, ideas and cookie cutter definitions.

In order to deal with this, I read my undergrad essays. I wonder if I should cry.