I've learnt that I need not apologize. I have also learnt to say no, not just to people or requests, but to the lessons that I have been taught in the past. Some things just shouldn't be swallowed.

I find it difficult to write about contentment. Because its a pleasant state of... just being. A subtle nirvana, that right now frames my existence. One step at a time. I get the sense that God takes care of me, even when I won't do it myself.

People find (and I do too sometimes) it funny when it becomes apparent that I have come full circle: Back to law in Singapore after having given up an opportunity to do law at NUS 7 years ago. It wasn't a circle, I don't think. More of a spiral upward and I'm sitting a higher than where I'd have been if I had stayed, because this isn't just something that I followed, it's something I choose, and that makes it all the more meaningful. 

Jarrett says, and I concur:  "Better happy than having an identity crisis"

Stay in Singapore, they tell me.

Am I a bigot? I have issues with religion spreading ignorance and bondage in the name of faith.

Oh so trashy.

Well, everyone has to fight the darkness sometimes.

Wild horses couldn't drag me away.

I have all these... these little snippets in my mind that I want to put here but they never materialize. Bogge suspects I have found contentment and balance. ha.

Whether Grace left Dogville or, on the contrary, Dogville had left her and the world in general, is a question of a more artful nature that few would benefit from by asking, and even fewer by providing an answer...

Bygones are bygones. But I do note with a slight sense of pity that the reason why I am no longer angry has much to do with the fact that I no longer have any respect for him. Being angry harbours a sense of expectation, that the other person had a set of standards that he was expected to live up to. Anger ensues from having that failed. In his case, that has definitely been the case. I do not think that he has the emotional depth or maturity to adequately make any of this right again. So, what's the point of anger? 

I think the biggest hurt now (as hurt keeps evolving) isn't so much what was done to me, but is more  of the fact that the person I respected for wisdom, thought the world of, and stood in awe of for emotional depth, is little more then a sham. I'm embarrassed for myself for having had so much regard for a very small man.

It is perhaps as if Grace decided that Dogville was not worth her time or effort because she did not think them worthy or capable of her moral standards. I certainly don't.


.... And nor indeed will it be answered here!