When, exactly, did I let it all go south?

Lesson for today - Destination Sickness: When you get what you want, and you get where you want, but you do not want anything that you have.

With that said, I thank God that was avoided.  It is done.

You told me you loved me.
I didn't believe you.
You wouldn't let me live it down. 
But I was right.

I wonder if sub-cultures develop to a point of such self-sufficiency such that the dominant culture simply becomes part of the harsh land-scape in which they exist.

Alors comments?

Life is a collection of losses, one after the other. 

3 years ago on this night you walked over and kissed me before collapsing onto the floor.  It would have been a great story to tell our children, to laugh at at our wedding, and to reminisce about in the winter cold.   But I lost all the reasons, somewhere along the way.

I did not expect anger to come up at any point in time, but it has. Maybe this is a natural part of the process.

I think about how it might have been, we'd spend our days traveling. It's not that I don't understand you, it's not that I don't want to be with you but you only wanted me the way you wanted me. So, I will head out alone, hope for the best. And we hang our heads down as we skip the goodbyes.  You can tell the world what you want them to hear. I've got nothing left to lose, my dear, so I'm up for the little white lies. But you and I know the reason why I'm gone, and you're still there.  So, steal the show, and do your best to cover the tracks that I have left. I wish you well and hope you find whatever you're looking for. Oh, the way I might've changed my mind, but you only showed me the door.

So, I will head out alone, hope for the best. We can pat ourselves on the back and say that we tried, and if one of us makes it big we can spill our regrets and talk about how the love never dies. But you and I know the reason why I'm gone, you're still there.

 

~ R. Yamagata.

Maybe I was much too selfish but baby, you're still on my mind.