Like never before

And the Songbirds keep on singing like they know the score. It's amazing how music affects you, your reality, existence and understanding of the self. I have found a growing desire to drown myself in songs, more then before. I am developing a sensitivity toward the emotions portrayed in tunes, toward the artist's heart stippled across timbre and tone. It's been along time coming, and I'm about to come alive. I think a lot of it has to do with a disconcertion with my life. I am getting fed up with transitional existance and am craving belonging and love. My roots are thirsting, searching and not finding.

I wonder if a lot of it has to do with being shaken up and challenged, confronted with life, reality, a movie in the kitchen. I know it's right. And it's Good. You're all I've got left to believe in. How do I seperate my desire with what I want? Get back to a life unknown. Now. Maybe, I shouldn't seek to be not plastic, but instead, to be plasticine. And then burn with the effigy of truth. But right here and right now, and for the rest of earthly eternity, I will be confined to pottery and pieces.

Ups and down and then more downs, I think I've learnt that I will have to learn to engage people not on their terms, or on my terms, but on our terms. Hannah and truth. Both ways, not giving up.