Munchie Monkey Madness.

So I get back from China and the depression lingers on. I throw needless trantrums while demanding that my life bounces back to perfection. And oddly enough, the cosmic karma obliges me when I really ought to be shot instead. Maybe it's just PMS.

But anyway, life today was quite beautiful. I finished the book i meant to finish. I bumped into a friend on my way to the deck to have lunch with more friends. After lunch I bumped into another friend on his way to studying so I studied with him, and he introduced me to more friends and invited me to a play. I did my stuff and then met up with more friends, who introduced me to more friends, and I bumped into more friends, and had supper with the friends whom i met up with and bumped into a friend of theirs who is in some way connected with me.

"So you're Hannah Lim!"

yes I am.

I am not going to ask what that means. (Or how he remembered my name in the first place, having heard it 5 years ago). I wrote in my macjournal on the midnight train home that despite the fullness in my life, and despite the fact that I am surrounded by wonderful people who want to be with me, I want more. And I can't decide why, what, whom, how, when.

I am like Kronos, the Greek god who devoured his own children. And only because I have fallen trap once again to deadly introspection.

I will be who I am and we will be what we are.

Goodnight world.