Today I found a new peace, a new heaven.

Andy, Jiayin and myself (sans Lingu, darn it) spent over three hours at Carl's Jr in PS and talked the night away over 5 cups of iced tea and 2 toilet breaks. There was such beauty between us, very diverse people who, save for the fact that we were grouped together by Lofty and Poon, would otherwise not be hanging out. It was peaceful and healthy, no cannibalistic emotions or silencing barriers. Just the memory of a close knit theatrical family and the present safe distance, neither too close nor too far. Just. Perfect.

And we'll keep meeting up this way, friends foreign to the usual routine, too far to threaten, too close for fear. And we'd share, and challenge and laugh and love. Like a Church.

It takes love to move one to love. And love is decisive, it is conviction. And after tonight, I think I can love my Church again. Albeit in this way:

I am the harm which you inflict
I am your brilliance and frustration
I'm the nuclear bombs if they're to hit
I'm your immaturity and your indignance

I am your misfits and your praised
I am your doubt and your conviction
I am your charity and your rape
I am your grasping and expectation

I see you averting your glances
I see you cheering on the war
I see you ignoring your children
And I love you still
And I love you still

I am your joy and your regret
I am your fury and your elation
I am your yearning and your sweat
I am your faithless and your religion

I see you altering history
I see you abusing the land
I see you and your selective amnesia
And I love you still
And I love you still

I am your tragedy and your fortune
I am your crisis and delight
I am your profits and your prophets
I am your art, I am your vice

I am your death and your decisions
I am your passion and your plights
I am your sickness and convalescence
I am your weapons and your light

I see you holding your grudges
I see you gunning them down
I see you silencing your sisters
And I love you still
And I love you still

I see you lie to your country
I see you forcing them out
I see you blaming each other
And I love you still
And I love you still
[Still ~ Alanis]

This is my church in all it's entirety. The church I am called to love, and will struggle with, to love and to be loved.