Tom: Is it St. Peter or St. Paul that mans the gates of heaven?
Me: It's St. Peter.
Tom: St Peter eh? So he finds out if you've been naughty or nice?
Me: No, that's Santa Claus.

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M: No, I still eat eggs (on becoming a vegetarian)
J: Yeah a lot of vegetarians eat eggs
H: What?? But that defeats the purpose of being a vegetarian, it's like eating a chicken fetus!
C: Well, most vegetarians are pro-choice.

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Tee hee.