I'm learning that in most situations, it's just a downhill battle. No one and nothing can make it perfect again or assure you of anything. So what's the point? I think I'm still in shock from learning about the irreversible nature of life. You're never going to regain that flexibility, that bounce that ability to stay up all night and be ok the next day. You're never going to be able to take back that word, to change that heart or to make your body do what you want.

Maybe there's a freedom in letting things go. But somehow I always find myself watching in horror in case it catapults into space and does something really really bad.