Falls on knees, clasps hands and...


Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that thou art;
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, thy presence my light.

Be thou my Wisdom, and thou my true Word;
I ever with thee and thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, and I thy true son,
Thou in me dwelling, and I with thee one.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise;
Thou mine inheritance, now and always;
Thou and thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my treasure thou art.

High King of heaven, my victory won,
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.


It's not easy.

I made a boy cry in class today.
They were all over the place.
Screaming,
Laughing,
Talking,
One boy had to go the the restroom, he exited in drunken stupour, high on ink, his mouth a violent blue.

All crying for attention,
All wanting to go home,
None knowing the meaning of "wait"
None seeing that I am powerless to battle the admin.

Did they think that a 19-year-old relief teacher could march down to the office and persuade the english department to remove library week?!

Hell, they didn't care.
As long as it wasn't them who ended up playing scrabble or Bingo.
God forbid.
I mean, who knows what's next? They constent to play scrabble and before you know it, they're expected to hand in their work on time!
We can't have that can we?

I entered believing in myself.
That "I would not treat them or see them as anything less then the express classes and I will not expect anything less then them simply because they are NOT less"
No of course not.
But they are so different.
So I have to be different.

And I left, not seeing ugliness, not seeing hatred...
Anger yes, pain yes, beauty yes.
I left, no longer believing in myself, but shaken by the vastness of humanity.
There are people whom i cannot engage.

I just wish that they'd see beyond themselves.
That they'd have more respect for me and for each other.
That they'd stop treating me as their equal.
That they'd drop the incessant bullying and malice.
That they'd have more faith in themselves.
That they'd quit being selfish and selfcentered and see that there are people here on the verge of tears because someone doesn't want to play scrabble.

Damn the admin.

At least it wasn't me who dropped the tears.