An empty rage

I realise that there are many sensations I miss: The feeling of being comfortable in your own skin, Of having more space then just a little room, of shorts and tanktops...

"I had a dream I was your hero"
Of being needed, and sharing that.
Of just being at peace within a relationship of honesty and comfort.
It just isn't too nice not having that level of mutal trust that you used to have.

"Just open up I'm gonna come inside I wanna fill you up I wanna make you cry..."
I miss being powerful and vulnerable at the same time, all tightly wrapped up in a little ball of trust, peppered with affection, laughter, fun a pinch of disagreement, delievered with ease please.

"This monkey can't stand to see you black and blue"
Puppy or no.
Yeah I can't. Not anyone. All too beautiful.
I just really want to make it alright for people. Especially the sincere and true, which I believe entails everyone.
But really, for the conciously hurting and lonely.

"And I return as chained and bound to you"
I would do anything really. for affection.
How female.
But there's this little girl inside that just yearns for a lot, for when I was fifteen and had that little delusional relationship with a non-existant individual. But it would have been beautiful.
Today, at twenty, though I don't respond to her, she's still there, tugging at my hand, head, heart.

"Damn I wish I was your lover
I'll rock you till the daylight comes
Make sure you are smiling and warm

I am everything

Tonight I'll be your mother
I will do such things to ease your pain
Free your mind and you won't feel ashamed"

The biggest promises made, the greatest strength conjured, sometimes comes from the weakest, most vulnerable of hearts.



Lyrics:
Damn I wish I was your Lover
Sophie B hawkins