I know it all means something.

Sometimes I feel like letting go.

I got 78% for my econ 102 midterm, and that's AFTER moderation. So, I did badly. I sat in class, staring incredulously at my paper, in physical pain (I did this course in Singapore, so I really ought to be getting 98% like last term, for Econ 101). This was just unbelievable. I really needed the potential 90ish that I could've gotten (easily) to pull up my overall GPA to get into IR. Not that I'm doing badly, looking at past years, the chances of me getting into IR with my current average of 81 isn't too bad. It would just be nice to have that extra margin to spare.

Today was the day that I had to learn grace. So instead of throwing a temper tantrum, I was shocked and traumatized into laying my academic career into the hands of God. Who am I kidding? If God wanted me in IR, I'd get there. Even with a joke for a GPA. Uncle Hwee Yang got into Grad school without even attending a single university class for crying out loud. It was from High school to Grad school. I need not worry about my future.

A part of it is a pride thing. My lowest grade in my two years of university at this moment is a B+ (for, ironcially, Arts One). I could easily get full marks for this course. I just don't know why I'm not. Welcome to humility Hannah. For the first time in your life, maybe, just maybe, you can't do it.

But that's fine. Perfectly fine.

Thank you for the sunshine.