Don't give yourself away.

hearts out there on the screen. Blogging is the new fashionable way to cry for help. The freedom of the invidual deems it unnecessary for the reader to respond in any meaningful way. Selfish enterprise this blogging is.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I'm half as interested in life as I should be. I feel like one of those who "love humanity but hate people". I'm tired, I guess and somewhat blase. I think i'm also tired of the whole God talk. I'm looking forward to senseless existance over summer. I need to get real. I can't just sit around and expound about how wonderful God is how He is everything.

Meh, I wonder sometimes if God rolls his eyes at us HCCs. If I were God, I'd be pretty pissed off. Like, I made you to be a human being, not a christian. At anyrate, I've met some pretty ardent non-christians who were closer to the heart of God then most christians. What does that say?

That I'm a grumbling disgruntled baby at the moment. But apart from all that, I'm going to heck-care on the whole emo-god thing. I want to be real, and i want my relationship with God to be real. Not an emotional crutch.

So I'm not going to try emulating any of these fantasies, or fabricating my gratitude or love, joy, peace. If God is real... well then.