I'm covered with bruises. I realise that skateboarding has taken a greater toil on my body then I realise. But it was worth it and it was good.

I'm covered with bruises. I realise that me dating him has taken a greater toil on my life then I realise. But it was worth it and it was good.

I feel let down in grace. I guess I cannot expect the same level of magnamity from someone who has a completely different world view. Grace commanded by love looks very different when compared to a person living for himself. Grace didn't exist between us for the past 3 days.

But above all, I've learnt to love despite. The entire world (myself included) tells me to stop in my tracks and to meet each tooth and eye with just deserts. Thank you Lord, for the command to love. I would be so lost without it.

In retrospect, I discover that letting go was very easy becuase I quickly learnt that what we had wasn't built on truth, that half the whispered promises and declarations had no basis, and that as in love as I was, it just wasn't enough. I am headed for so much more.

I'm perfectly happy to extend as much love as I can, within the boundaries of being an ex-girlfriend. It hurts to see rejection and disdain in a person's attitude but that really isn't my problem. My first instinct is to blurt out harsh observations hurtfully, with the intent to wound. I instead find within broken myself the desire and ability to let it go. I understand that it has nothing to do with my person, my worth and my identity. I'm learning to live with the fact that people are people and that they react in certain ways. I'm not denying that I'm hurt and angry, but I've been told to Love, and Love I will.

And the most amazing thing is that I think I have really learnt what it means to love, and how to go about doing it.


EDIT:
Oops. God has funny ways of revealing truths and reminding us that not everything is as it seems.

Sweetness.