I know it's Monday and this post really should be for Sunday. But I think things have been internalising. I found grace.

I have had no faith in myself of late. I have recently entered a new relationship, it's of today five days young. In two months, I will fly away. And then God knows what will happen. I've been wrecked with fear. I do not trust myself in anyway shape or form to stay true to a guy who is actually, fundatmentally very different from myself. What will keep us together?

And amid Pastor Wan's message, the message of grace came through. That He is strong in my weakness. I cannot promise that Belmont and I will pull through, but I can promise to try and to submit our relationship into the hands of God.

Speak - say the words that no one else will ever say
Love - love like the world we know is over in a day

You're beautiful and I am weakened by the force of your eyes
So shine bright to separate the truth from the lies
I'm gonna show you love

So tie me to a tree and let the smoke and ash collect
No, I won't regret to let love do what love will let
We can drown in mixed emotions or walk across an angry sea
This is the cost of being free

I'm gonna show you love in every language
I'm gonna speak with words that need no form
I'm gonna give you what you never had before

And then I found it in myself to speak to Dennis cordially, without a desire to rip his guts out. Reinforced by Dominic's wide eyes and table-pounding fists, I remember how we severed ties, and how divinely ordained it was through post-it notes. (If you want to know the whole story, ask me! Or him!)

Touched once again by the wisdom expressed on his blog, I only want to say this to him:

As God is the answer, take courage in living actively for Goodness and truth.

I think I will always be tender toward him.
For the sake of the soon-to-be very distant past.