28 August 2004

Dennis Tan:

You've been so kind and generous
I don't know how you keep on giving

You've showed me a lot.
You've opened a whole new world to me in both theatre and life. And it is a feat, how we get along. My culture, by nature is very unforgiving to yours. Socially and even linguistically, we don't have anything in comman. I think there is an unspoken agreement of some sorts that we will never marry Jay Chou with Dave Matthews. Only in theatre perhaps we share something. But your heart for the people and your flair and passion of theatre has broken previously existing boundaries in my life. I would be honored and delighted to work with Wayang Warehouse again, when I return.

For your selflessness my admiration

And for now, I think this relationship would be the hardest thing for me to let go on this return trip to Canada. I'll be back for sure, but I've learnt that good-byes are forever.

Natalie Merchant ~ Kind and Generous

"I think theatre IS the thing for you"

You to me

That meant a lot to me. Lately, with the books that I've been reading, I've been convicted to do what I like in life. On top of that, whatever I do, I ought to do it was a passion (I think Jeremy Janzen had something to do with this), if not, it's not worth doing now is it? Theatre is something that means a lot to me. Hence the fear. But after this production I am convinced that I am on the right path. Maybe not just to theatre but in life in general.

I struggled with not doing Theatre as a major in UBC. I ended up aiming toward that as a minor with IR as my Major. I didn't think studying theatre full time was... full enough. Perhaps its just the requirements at UBC.

"Theatre is not about studying, it's about experience. And
no doubt everyone has to start from somewhere, and what you lack in experience, you make up in discipline and humility." ~DQ

So wise!

Theatre is life. You can't be good at life by just sitting in a classroom. Knowing is not enough, you have to make it living flesh. And besides, theatre is not an end in itself. It's a means. A means to whatever end it might be, self-glorification, expression, instruction etc etc etc. I'd like to serve people. I want to hon my skills and passions to do what I understand to be natural. From humanity back to humanity, Theatre belongs to the people.

Thanks Dennis, for showing me how.

And I just can't help but wonder, where would a Chinese third-culture Christian Canadian fit into the scheme of things here in heartlander Woodlands? If at all? Well God, that's totally up to you, eh?

It is cruel Cruel CRUEL that you are gone. I promised to do more theatre with you. We talked for hours over MSN and SMS. You taught me many many things. You loved people. You loved art. You taught me to focus. You let me be your friend. I guess you needed me then too. I'm sorry we were too busy to maintain our friendship. But I always saw you as one who led a life too full for petty interruptions. I always thought you worked too hard. But it was your life and soul. I'm sorry I wasn't available to Stage Manage for you. I'm sorry I wasn't in your life more.

Goodbye.
You are beautiful.
There is great loss here now.