I know it looks crazy. But I'm not. It's just how I approach things, recognizing how people are to different people, and how there are different interests at stake here. I have always believed that to see a person, one cannot write him off on the basis of their actions in a particular moment in time. They are the sum of everything from their birth till their deaths. And until I am capable of encapsulating the entirety of their truths in my mind, from their birth till their deaths with all the intricacies in between, I cannot condemn them, or affirm them as people. But when in doubt, err on the side of caution. Err on the side of grace. Err on the side that moves your instincts and that gives you peace.

And that's just how I feel right now I guess. I see a person , loved by many, with much to love. I see a person whose hurt has spilled over onto the bodies of others by the work of his own hands. But to see them as holistically as possible, is most important. As H told me: "It's good you try to see him entirely", as he removes the fork from Y's clenched fingers. I do. Or at least I try to. It's easy now, but that might change in the future with distance and time and perspective.

But for now, all I want to say is this: Take care of yourself, it's summer. This is your season. Take care of your heart because, according to Chinese astrology, it is most important to your element. Learn to be happy. Enjoy your friends, love your sister, be kind to your niece and laugh. Write, get published and be merry. But I will not be sorry when they come a-knocking at your door, in fact, I will lead them there if I can.

We all do what we must. I have my goals clear and justified. He has his life. Sometimes they get along and sometimes they don't. Sometimes they could've, sometimes they would've, but truth is now they won't. I think we can stand and face each other one day and say 'I understand', even though it means never really having the chance to actually say it.

What is important then, is peace.