I realise there's no such thing as 'how I feel about it', just how I feel right now combined with what I want. These are not mutually exclusive and feed into each other. There is, of course a general direction in which I am faced toward. The actual path of it is, however, blazed with each cautious, tentative step. One foot is called How I Feel. The other foot is named What I Want. As long as my heart is faced in the correct direction, they will blaze my trail there.

So really, all I need is patience as well as the lonely, empowering recognition that I do this all by myself. So:

I seem to you to seek a new disaster every day. You deem me due to clean my view and be at peace and lay. I mean to prove I mean to move in my own way, and say, "I've been getting along for long before you came into the play". I am the baby of the family, it happens, so everybody cares and wears the sheeps' clothes while they chaperon. Curious, you looking down your nose at me, while you appease. Courteous, to try and help, but let me set your mind at ease. Do I so worry you, you need to hurry to my side? It's very kind. But it's to no avail; I don't want the bail. I promise you, everything will be just fine. If there was a better way to go then it would find me. I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me. Be kind to me, or treat me mean. I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine