8 am on a Wednesday morning

Boarded the bus.
Got off the bus.
Got into your parent's car.
Saw you in the distance.
Looking like I did.
Trying real hard not to show all the insecurites that
Threatened
To burst out and scatter you all over.

Sat on the seat.
Walked around the space.
Spoke a little to your friends and family.
Watched you in a strange distance.
As you trooped away.
Stepping out into some choiceless realm that
Threatens
To change and snatch away all that you want.

Who's gonna pick you up When you fall
Who's gonna hang it up When you call
Who's gonna pay attention To your dreams
Who's gonna plug their ears When you scream


Drive ~ The Cars

It's not as hard as I thought it would be really.
I imagined you walking off, waving and me dissolving into a soggy mass of hair, tissue, skin and clothes somewhere on the pavement.
Then Ziiq would worriedly fluster around me.
And Jufri would be limpy amusing.
But well...

You just left.

Who's gonna hold you down
When you shake
Who's gonna come around
When you break

I don't know how well I'll survive without you.
I think it's not you Dennis Tng that i've been depending on but just a sheer presence for me to count on.
I'll have to shake that off and well, piece myself together when I break.

Alone.

But well, You'll drive me home soon.
For now, scary thing is, I really don't know how I'm feeling.