Every morning I wake up and struggle to get out of bed.
It doesn't help that I can't call you.
It's as if I don't want the day to start because it means that I'll have to battle it alone.

What amazes me is that I never noticed how dependent on you I was till you left.
I have to resist the urge of e-mailing you/smsing you/ICQing you every moment.
It's strange not having you to experience my life side by side.

Enough about that.

At least I don't cry anymore.

So i'll be leaving in 3 days.

and how does that feel?

I have no idea. I can't seem to organise my feelings. I seem to miss dennis more then well, fear going away.
Of course I'm freaking out. Like my mother can't go with me. But I'll be praying against this.

I know I'm supposed to learn independency but this is taking things a tad bit too far.
Or is it?

I wouldn't know.
It would be refreshing to be thrown out there in a foreign country with a lot of things to do.
I think I'll take the flight alone. I'd like that in fact.
Means I can't whine or be squishy on anyone.

It's not healthy really, I'm getting these surges of emotion.
I'm scared.
I'm so darn excited I could wrestle a bear! No fear!

I think I'm bi-polar.

Oh well, but God has been good. Seriously so. I think I just need to pray a tad bit more.

The great thing about everythings is that hell, I have no choice but to trust Him.

About time.

I'm excited. Great things are about to happen.