Saturday, June 11, 2005

Existentialthe

right now in this moment of sheer human weakness I'd like to say that I fucking hate you. And I pretty much do. But not for forever... just for now. It's just a moment, this time will pass.

"its about time for a leap into the big unknown. this goes into my head as "Stories for the grand-children". of my bestest bestfriend of 7 years and how things naturally come to how they are. its all good.

and ive heard rumours. no one is to blame anyone. especially if your name isnt dennis or hannah. "
~ Dennis. (emphasis added)

I understand that pain is natural too.

I will tell my story.
It will be my story.
And I will hide nothing from no one.

And after this is done, I will allow you to fade away, to where you don't matter.
But that will be later, for now i will wrestle, resist my urge to slaughter, and just drag my sorry emotional corpse through the mud of now, entrails trailing dramatically behind.


EDIT:: I cancelled this bit almost immediately after I posted it on. I have this principle to never delete what I blogged if I changed my mind about something. Because that was once a moment of Truth. But as life often proves, (as it just has to me) a moment of truth is just that, A moment. And so things change and so do people. But you can never undo the past. So be very very careful about the story you're living. Live it well.

Anyway Dustin is right: One thing never fails - my drama.
---
The weight of human responsibility once again resonates with me today. We make choices that ripple out like stones dropped into water. We live with them, not just you or I, but you, me and every other goddamn human being that comes into contact with us. Walk humbly Hannah.

And today, I figure that as opposite the notions of Justice and Grace are, they are usually delivered hand in hand. Thank you God, for all this.

Now work me.

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