I want you to know, you don't need me anymore.

Tonight, Dennis agreed that it was time to end our 7-year-old life together. He tapped my shoulder in the middle of 'The Office' and told me so.

Well then.

I guess that's the end of it all. Naturally, it doesn't come easy. I feel like I've to plunge a knife into something that is very much alive. I think I've come a long way through this struggle and have mastered the art of containing myself within my 5 foot frame. What I would have otherwise done, when expressed, brought Thiyachai down to shudders and chuckles. But no more.

So this is the end of our relationship, of a life, of the only life that I know.

Walk on.
You got to leave it behind.

I don't quite know where to start. As Thi pointed out, nothing really happens when it's still a swirl of emotion, inexplicable internal life forces just seeking for a direction to flow. The real distance comes with indifference. So I'm working on it. <-- Get the irony?

I've deleted his link off my blog, deleted and blocked him from MSN...
I won't have anything, as far as I can help it, to do with his life.

No they can't even feel it

Now before the gasps come rolling in, it was a joint decision between Dennis and myself. Logically, I am glad for this bilateral action. It breathes freedom and a new adventurous life ahead of me. True me-ness, true intensity and love. I praise God for the lessons I'll be learning, the Grace I'll be cultivating and the independece I'll be strengthening.

"Give up something" <--- my job in "The office"
"pfft... I know what I'm giving up: Dennis"

"my pride"

At the end of the day, I couldn't singlehandedly give up my relationship with Dennis. It was never completely mine to hold anyway. And anyway, it was given up for me, via a tap on my shoulder in the middle of the Alliance Franchise.

I can justify, I can logicalize, rationalize and theorize...

BUT I CAN NEVER DO AWAY WITH THE FACT THAT I AM HUMAN AND THAT I AM HURTING DESPERATELY RIGHT NOW.

It's just a moment, this time will pass.